


Baby, Please Remember Me Once More

by solohux



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alpha Kylo Ren, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Amnesia, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Armitage Hux, Claiming, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Memory Loss, Mpreg, Omega Armitage Hux, Post-TLJ, smut with feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2019-09-28 04:35:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 39,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17175998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solohux/pseuds/solohux
Summary: After a mission gone wrong, Kylo loses all of his memories of the last five years, including his mating and bonding with Hux. All Kylo knows of Armitage Hux is that they're rivals and they hate each other.When Kylo wakes, Hux is shocked to find that his mate is not the man he remembers.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! ❤️ 
> 
> I don't know how many will remember but I once had a WIP called ' _Lacuna_ ' which I deleted and abandoned because I lost inspiration to finish it.
> 
> And today, whilst brainstorming ideas for a new fic, my mind kept going back to that fic. So, I've decided to completely re-write it, keeping the same premise but change the beginning to fit with TLJ, and change the middle and end to fit in better with the ABO dynamics I've added. 
> 
> The title? Lyrics taken from Adele's ['Don't You Remember'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmJ8wXJ9y3A).
> 
> So, here's my new fic/not-so-new-idea! I hope you enjoy! ❤️

The sights and sounds of the ruined throne room aboard the _Supremacy_ overwhelm Kylo’s mind to the point where his consciousness struggles to process everything but he remains standing on trembling legs, staring down to the dead corpse of his former leader with an unreadable expression on his face, conflicted.

“Ben?”

The girl—Rey—approaches him slowly, her untamed mind projecting her intense feelings of relief onto Kylo and his already-tumultuous thoughts. He feels almighty, having just taken the life of another alpha _in front of_ another powerful alpha, and he exhales in a shuddering breath as his newfound sense of greatness courses through him.

 He breathes heavily, his skin crawling; Snoke is dead. _He_ is the new alpha of the First Order.

“It’s time to let old things die,” he says, trying to steady his voice as much as he can. “Snoke, Skywalker. The Sith, the Jedi, the Rebels. Let it all die.”

An alpha-alpha partnership leading the galaxy would be formidable; it was only Vader’s weakness to his own mate and pups that brought about the end of his and Emperor Palpatine’s rule. With his silent promise to himself to never mate and to never allow a romantic attraction to _anyone_ , Kylo knows that his destiny is to become the king of the galaxy.

Rey stands in front of him, broadcasting her uncertainty about him, afraid and conflicted; exactly what he needs as his second-in-command. Someone who won’t hesitate to follow his orders because of their fear of what he’ll to them should they ignore him, someone who is strong with the Force and someone he can corrupt with time.

Someone like Rey, _not_ like Hux.

Kylo can’t help but allow his mind to wander to General Hux, that overbearing alpha with a bark worse than his bite. A runt, a snivelling pup who has only been kept alive this long because of Snoke. With Snoke gone, Kylo can’t wait to put that pathetic excuse of an alpha into his place; _beneath him._

“Ben, please.”

“Rey,” Kylo says, stepping forward and offering the other alpha his hand. “I want you to join me. We can rule together and bring a new order to the galaxy.”

At last, the female alpha falters and a fresh set of tears fall down her cheeks. Sad, Kylo thinks. She truly believed that Ben Solo could be saved, that he’d do anything but take Snoke’s place as the most powerful and feared alpha in the galaxy.

“Don't do this, Ben,” Rey says, shaking her head. “Please don't go this way.”

“No, no you're still holding on! Let go!” Kylo probes her mind, angrily curious about her motivations; she’s thinking of Luke and Leia. “You have no place in this story. You come from nothing, you're nothing. But not to me. Join me. Please.”

But Kylo hadn’t counted on Rey’s connection to the Light to be the thing that keeps her out of the dark, able to resist his corruption. Just as she’s about to reach for his hand, Kylo senses her deceit, but he’s too late. The blue lightsaber—Luke’s, Anakin’s, _it should be Kylo’s_ —is stranded in the air between them, an invisible tug-of-war keeping it suspended.

He’s lost this lightsaber once before, and Kylo isn’t about to lose it again to the same scavenger _pup_ as last time.

Kylo grunts, feeling the lightsaber being torn apart, watching as a white light begins to emit from its hilt as its ripped open and blinks—

 

/////////////////////////

 

“Ren, open your eyes, please. Come back to me. Wake _up._ ”

The voice that Kylo is so accustomed to being so sharp and so _hateful_ is strangely soft to his ears, its tone filled with worry and concern. Already, Kylo is confused but he opens his eyes slowly, expecting to be on the floor of the _Supremacy’s_ throne room, unconscious from the lightsaber’s explosion but he isn’t. He’s nowhere he’s ever seen before.  

He’s lying on an _extremely_ comfortable bed in, what appears to be, a private room of a medical wing. It isn’t the _Finalizer’s_ or the _Supremacy’s_ medbay; it’s much too bright and luxurious, filled with expensive-looking machinery and _flowers in vases_ on a dresser underneath the window. Instead of grey and white walls, they’re painted a shade of deep blue with yellow patterns decorating the border. Even the ceiling light is a fancy pendant decoration and not a simple LED bulb emitting a dull glow. Kylo frowns but is distracted when the movement of his eyebrows cause a sharp pain across his forehead, aggravated the already-excruciating pain in his head, in his mind; a pounding headache that’s even making the Force seem distant.

“Oh, my word. Thank the stars! You’re awake. I thought I was going to lose you, Kylo.”

Kylo looks to his right, stunned to see _Hux_ perched on the edge of a chair beside his bed, eyes filled with worry—and tears. He’s dressed in a white uniform worthy of only the highest of society; white trousers, a white long-sleeved tunic with gold trims and a thick, black belt around his middle, a shining gold buckle in its centre. His gloved hand holds tightly onto Kylo’s as though his life _depends_ on it, his thumb gently stroking across the back of Kylo’s cold knuckles like it’s second nature, moving without even thinking. His red hair is messier than Kylo remembers, left to its own rule rather than gelled down like it normally is, likely to accommodate the golden laurel leaf circlet that sits upon his nest of soft, red hair. It shines, bringing out every shade of red and orange in his hair. A red cape sits around his scrawny shoulders too, fastened by a gold chain over his clavicle, its collar embellished with tiny First Order symbols.

But Kylo can’t help but allow his gaze to linger on Hux’s exposed neck where a claim mark sits upon his pale skin, scarred into the skin on the left side of his throat. Pink in colour, it looks to be a few years old, faded with time. And whilst assessing everything, Kylo’s instincts are sent into overdrive by Hux’s scent. It’s potent and _needy_ and fresh. Kylo can’t believe it. Hux is a _mated omega._ After years of believing that his sworn rival was an incompetent alpha, Kylo feels dizzy.

Hux looks… _regal,_ Kylo thinks, and so different from how he’d been only hours ago on the _Supremacy’_ s bridge. Kylo blinks hard. He was on the same star destroyer only moments ago, not _here_ —though Kylo admits that he isn’t sure where _here_ is. Groaning, Kylo tries to think, but it’s as though he’s blocked by an invisible barrier. His soul doesn’t feel right, feels _cold_ somehow, but as he looks back to Hux, Kylo realises that none of this makes any sort of sense. If someone were to ask him who would be by his bedside, he would’ve said his dead grandfather before he’s even consider Armitage Hux.

But Kylo can’t help but analyse Hux’s expression, noting a dampness to his eyelashes and cheeks, his coarse eyes now filled with unrelenting worry, but Hux’s mind is what’s striking Kylo the hardest. With the Force still adjusting to his consciousness, Kylo feels as though he may pass out from the rawness of Hux’s emotions that are flooding into his own mind: relief, joy, love _._

 _Love_.

The sensation of _so much_ love is almost soothing to Kylo’s damaged mind. There’s a part of Kylo that’s telling him to soak it in, drown in it completely. Having been so attuned to other’s emotions since he was a boy, Kylo can tell that this is different. Hux’s feelings are pouring themselves straight into his mind, his _soul,_ not like a tiny hole in a roof but like a break in a dam, showering through with tremendous force, something that can only be achieved in the most connected of souls—

A bond; something shared by only the most intimate of mates.

It’s weaker on Hux’s part, likely due to his lack of Force sensitivity, but it’s there nonetheless, aching and desperate as though gasping for breath and for Kylo, it’s as though his chest is opened and Hux is tearing out his heart, pulling harder with each fresh wave of emotion. Are they _mates?_ Has the claim mark on Hux’s neck been made by Kylo himself? _Impossible, no._ Hux hates him, and he _despises_ Hux—

Hux begins to gently lift Kylo’s hand to his mouth, eyes closed, brushing his knuckles against the smooth skin of his lips before kissing them, holding Kylo’s cold hand in both of his gloved hands; a symbol of a lover honouring their other half. Kylo pulls his hand away quickly, turning his nose up.

“Explain yourself, General,” Kylo growls, sitting up slowly in the bed, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. “And I suggest you do it quickly.”

Hux falters, blinking hard.

“Ren— _Kylo_ —what’s the matter with you?” Hux says, frowning, voice breaking as though upset. “Does your head still hurt? I can call the medic if you want.”

The very second that Hux decides to cup his cheek, Kylo feels his patience snap. How _dare_ he! This conniving _bastard_ has the audacity to somehow create a bond between then, sit and watch over him in this strange place and hen _touch_ him without permission. With the Force, Kylo shoves Hux back and away from him, satisfied when Hux flies off of his chair and hits the wall with a thud, though less satisfied when Captain Phasma bursts in, obviously having heard the noise. It’s as though she has kicked the door in, it opens so violently. She’s quick to Hux’s side, steadying him from the obvious dizziness from banging his head. Hux, dazed, rubs the back of his head as the Captain helps him up from the floor, standing between him and Kylo defensively.

“Emperor! My liege, are you injured?” She asks, her voice slightly echoed through her helmet, her uniform polished and shinier than Kylo remembers.

 _Wait._ Kylo’s chest clenches. _Emperor? Emperor **Hux**? _Kylo killed his master, ready to take his place, and this _pup_ has decided to take the power for himself? And an omega, too. His mind blurs, wondering whether he’s somehow been taken captive in an alternate reality.

“I’m fine, Phasma,” Hux says, rubbing the back of his head. “An accident, that’s all. Fetch the medic for me. I sense that all is not as it seems.”

“Yes, sir,” Phasma replies and hastily leaves the room, though not before giving a glare to Kylo from underneath her helmet, allowing her head to stay angled at him as she walks away, though Kylo ignores her.

He looks back up at Hux, snarling. They stare at each other, though Kylo admits that his gaze is harsher than Hux’s…Hux’s pale green eyes are soft, _so soft,_ like looking at a lover rather than a rival, confirming Kylo’s suspicions that he’s a soft, little omega who’s out of his depth.

“I _said,_ explain yourself,” Kylo repeats, his tone dark, a warning.

Hux pulls his gloves on tighter, straightening his white jacket.

“Not before you tell me what you’re playing at,” Hux says, folding his hands behind his back. “You call me _General_ , pull away from my touch and throw me against a wall. Has our relationship reverted back to that of years ago? If this is how you plan on treating your mate, then I take tremendous pity on your enemies.”

This time, Kylo thinks he may actually pass out. Eyes wide, he looks down to his left hand, seeing a shining ring on his finger. It’s silver, a black border around the middle of the band with a tiny but shimmering red stone in its centre. Even with the Force still hovering strangely around him, Kylo can feel a small spark of _electricity_ resonating from the little stone.

A kyber crystal; a miniscule piece embedded within the precious metal of his ring.

He immediately looks to Hux’s left hand to see an identical ring, the same silver band with red stone, pulled on over his gloves. Another gaze to Hux’s marked neck and a quick feel up to his own, Kylo’s fears are confirmed.

He’s marked too, _claimed._ He rubs his fingers around the scar, finding it to be seemingly smaller than Hux’s but _present_ all the same. An alpha, marked by an omega. This is impossible, Kylo thinks. He _despises_ Hux with all his strength; this interfering, stubborn runt of the litter, always getting in his way of the Supreme Leader’s approval, of becoming the man that his grandfather would be proud of.

“Ren,” Hux says softly, sitting down on the edge of the bed next to Kylo, their hips touching. Kylo scuttles away, and Hux flinches like he’s been hit. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

“ _Rey,”_ Kylo spits. “I watched her kill Snoke, took out the Praetorian guards and asked her to join me. She tried to take my lightsaber from me and we fought over it. It exploded and I woke up here. I don’t remember how I got _here._ Now, tell me what the hell is going on.”

Hux stares at him with wide eyes, _watery_ eyes, mouth hanging open. His face has turned completely white, but Kylo won’t be taken in by this façade.

‘ _5 years,’_ Hux is broadcasting loudly, his words accompanied with a tremendous heartache. ‘ _5 years worth of memories together, gone.’_

“No… _Ren_ ,” Hux says, hand hovering in the air for a brief moment before lowering it back down into his own lap after Kylo scowls at him. “You were brought into our medical wing three days ago with head trauma, your mission to destory the rebellious faction on Konnarr didn't go to plan. You’ve been unconscious ever since. You _must_ remember. Tell me you remember me.”

Lifting his hand, Kylo gingerly feels on a tender spot on the left side of his forehead, finding a bacta patch over, what he presumes to be, a head wound.

“ _Mission?_ I don’t…Where have you brought me to?” Kylo repeats, hissing slightly when he presses too hard on his own wound. He remembers nothing of a mission, nothing of feeling anything but hatred towards Hux, and yet here he is; wedding ring, mating claim and all.

“Our home,” Hux says, glancing out the window. Kylo follows his gaze but no memories return to him. All he sees is a light blue sky, white clouds and luscious green gardens but he feels nothing. “The royal residence on Lisuune. The most secure palace ever to have existed. _You_ helped design it.”

Kylo huffs, slightly overwhelmed. “So you took all the power for yourself once the girl killed Snoke. You waited until I was incapacitated to steal the alpha’s power that was rightfully _mine._ ”

Hux opens his mouth, then closes it immediately.

“Ren, my _darling_. You don’t have to lie. I _know_ you killed Snoke. You told me, and I told you that it’s okay, I know what sort of torture that old creature put you through. I’m glad you’re free from him. Don’t you remember?” Hux reaches out bravely this time, and flattens his palm over the top of Kylo’s hand.

Kylo feels _sick._ It’s definitely a bitter and twisted reality that he’s been sent to. This can’t be real, _can’t be._ He can’t bring himself to look up at Hux, at the man he’s betrothed himself to, _bonded_ himself to. He despises the look in Hux’s pale eyes, the look that’s telling Kylo that everything is true.

Hux is an omega, Kylo’s omega, and together, they rule the galaxy.

“Don’t touch me,” Kylo barks, pulling his hand away from Hux’s with a sharp tug, climbing back onto the bed to sit against the headboard, knees drawn up. _“This can’t be true._ You _hate_ me. _”_

Through their _bond,_ Kylo feels the painful spike of Hux’s distress, the epitome of his sadness reached. It’s _vile,_ Kylo thinks, having a mind as untamed and as impure as Hux’s latched onto his own like this, burdening him with his own issues.

“Stop sending me your thoughts. I want this bond gone,” Kylo snarls, knowing that it’d be painful for Hux, but he doesn’t care.

“What?” Hux asks, and Kylo feels his confusion.

“Your mind,” Kylo repeats, annoyed. “Shield it from me, _General,_ or else.”

“You haven’t taught me how to do that,” Hux says, shaking his head. His fists clench on his lap though Kylo has already noticed their shakiness. “You said you wanted to sense me, _feel_ me, at all times— _ahh!_ ”

Losing the last ounce of patience halfway through Hux’s ramblings, Kylo summons his darkest of energies and erects the strongest of shields around his own mind, severing the invisible thread that connects Hux’s mind to his own, obviously causing some discomfort to the latter, but Kylo merely puts that down to Hux’s weakness. The omega shakes, holding his head, gasping for breath as though drowning.

“R-Ren,” Hux’s voice quivers as he speaks. His eyes begin to water, his palm pressed against his right temple. “What have you _done_?”

“I’ve shielded myself from you and your obnoxious mind,” Kylo replies. “And I’d appreciate it if you left me to rest.”

Before Hux can reply, there’s a knock on the door and a medic entering before waiting for permission.

“Oh!” The beta exclaims, her dark framed glasses slipping down her nose. “My Leaders. I didn’t know you were engaged in conversation. My apologies for intruding—”

“No, no,” Hux says, standing from the bed, sniffling, flexing his nervous fingers. “I’ve been called to attend a matter elsewhere. I leave him in your capable hands.” He turns to Kylo and, for a moment, Kylo thinks he’s going to kiss him. But Hux merely backs away, all the while keeping his gaze locked with Kylo’s, as though breaking it would mean something awful. “Rest easy, Ren, my alpha. I’ll check back on you later.”

“Don’t bother, _omega. Emperor,_ ” Kylo chides. “I’m sure your presence is needed somewhere else rather than at my bedside.”

Hux gives a chuckle of derision. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

And with that, Hux leaves, his cape swishing out behind him, and Kylo gets the feeling that it’s for _his_ benefit, but all he feels is _angered_ by the performance, remembering how Hux used to fan his greatcoat out as he walked to make himself seem superior; all a façade to make his underlings believe he’s an alpha and conceal his true biology, that of a weak omega.

Kylo looks down at his left hand, holding it out in front of him, assessing the way the silver shines as the sunlight hits it, the way the crystal gleams.

“The rarest ore in the galaxy, I hear,” the medic says, sitting down on the edge of the bed as she begins to assess Kylo’s head wound. “Is it true that the little red gem is from your old lightsaber, sir? I overheard Emperor Hux talking about it once. A piece of the heart of one of the deadliest of weapons, now residing in the rings of the Emperor and Supreme Leader. It really is beautiful, if you don’t mind my saying so, sir.”

Kylo hums in response, unknowing of whether he’s agreeing or not. The medic clears her throat, tucking a piece of her blonde hair behind her ear.

“Your wound is healing accordingly,” she says, her gloved hands removing the bacta patch from Kylo’s forehead to reveal a line of stiches, held together with thin strips of white tape. “How are you feeling, Master Ren?”

Kylo hears her question but struggles to find the words to reply. He stares at his ring, a pain beginning to surface upon the scar on his neck, a hole in his chest where something irreplaceable has been lost.

“I…I can’t remember. I can’t remember anything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> My tumblr is [@solohux](http://solohux.tumblr.com/) ❤️
> 
> And I'm also on twitter now! Find me [@solohuxx](https://mobile.twitter.com/solohuxx) 💙


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the love and support for the first chapter! It means everything to me!! ❤️
> 
> Also, I'll be adding tags to the fic as each chapter is posted so make sure you read them before you delve into the fic, just in case something happens that you aren't comfortable with!
> 
> Enjoy! ❤️

The moment Hux steps out of the medical room, he has to grab onto the wall for support, fearing his legs may give out from underneath him. He breathes heavily, eyes blurring, chest _aching,_ going over the last few minutes in his mind.

He hears nothing but his heart pounding in his ears, a cold and unsettling wave of panic consuming every inch of his body as though he’s drowning in an icy lake without any hope of being saved, as though he’s watching Kylo walk away from him just before his head goes underneath the water, the sight of his mate leaving him to die burnt onto the back of his eyelids. The claiming mark on his neck is burning with pain too, throbbing, itching, and Hux knows that only its creator’s touch will soothe his pain.

 _Kylo doesn’t remember him_. His _mate_ doesn’t know who he is. He remembers the cold and heartless _General Hux,_ he remembers the hatred that once consumed them both and the intense rivalry they shared but nothing of the last five years they’ve spent together, a beautiful result of Kylo being the alpha to knot Hux during the first heat he’d had since he was a teen. Emperor Hux shivers, fixing his flowing red cape before he begins to walk, still intoxicated by his mate’s scent from behind the door of his medbay room. Hux knows he has to _think,_ and he can’t help but allow his memories to delve back into the past, remembering how he and his soulmate came to be.

Hux’s heat had arrived not long after the battle of Crait. At first, he’d put it down to exhaustion; lack of appetite, extreme tiredness, increased irritability and a _tremendous_ escalation in his sexual arousal. Granted, the latter seemed like an anomaly but Hux hadn’t dwelled on it, he hadn’t the time to. With Kylo now leading the First Order and demanding that Hux be beside him at all times, Hux had little time to think about his own health. Even when officers began to comment on his reddening complexion and sweaty appearance, suggesting that he be checked for a possible virus, Hux ignored it; it was necessary to, to keep up his charade of being an alpha.

Even now, as Emperor Hux smooths his hair back into place underneath his laurel-leaf crown, he remembers the struggles he went through as _General,_ concealing his true biology from everyone. No one, not even the medical droids who conducted his physicals (he _ensured_ that his status remained hidden on his file), knew his secret, no one knew he was an omega. Not only were the Imperials incredibly snobbish when it came to omegas and their _‘lowly’_ status but were strict on them enrolling in the military; _they couldn’t._

But lying on official documents was Brendol Hux’s specialty. Heat suppressants from the age of 17, scent-masking cologne and ordering two-sizes up in uniform to conceal his _oh-so_ delicate omegan body, Hux almost believed the lie himself.

It was only when he felt the first wave of slick rushing from his hole that Hux realised that his list of symptoms were a result of his heat. The next thing he felt was fear.

Standing beside Kylo Ren in his throne, the most powerful alpha in the galaxy, and suddenly going into heat was an omega’s worst nightmare, one that Hux found himself living in very quickly. Allowing his heat to build for almost a week meant that, when it did arrive, it was much too strong for him to escape, to ignore or to conceal. Supreme Leader Ren had noticed Hux’s change in scent almost immediately, ordering the rest of the alpha officers to leave the room in such a fierce tone that Hux found _himself_ falling to his knees to submit, wanting _someone_ to help him, _knot him._

And as Emperor Hux stands alone in the grand hallways of his medical wing, he can still feel Kylo’s gentle touch on his skin from that moment five years ago. Hux had believed his life to be over, expecting Kylo to pin him down and tear his clothes from him before knotting him and leaving him alone on the cold floor with his seed still dripping out of him. Hux shivered, bowing his head, readying himself to submit underneath Supreme Leader Ren and to his new life as a broodmare.

But instead of finding himself losing clothes, Hux felt something being wrapped around his shoulders. Kylo had taken his own cape and put it around Hux with grace, staring down at him with soft eyes, coming to kneel beside him, shielding him from the rest of the galaxy.

‘ _Tell me what you need,’_ Kylo had said, even creating space between them to reassure Hux of his intentions. ‘ _Breathe, Hux. I can sense your fear. You don’t need to be afraid anymore. I made a promise to myself after Crait to never harm you again. You and I, we’re—’_

Hux stops himself before his memories go any further, refusing to allow himself to be compromised by thinking of anything that isn’t leading the First Order or Kylo’s recovery, but the nausea rising from the pit of his stomach up to his throat takes his focus away from everything else and it’s only when Hux _feels_ his breakfast coming back up does he panic, making a dash for the nearest bathroom that’s down the corridor, an en-suite in one of the medbay’s private rooms. Luckily, the room is empty as Hux skids to his knees in front of the toilet, coughing and gagging as he’s sick, feeling a cold sweat forming all over his skin.

“Damn it,” Hux whispers, flushing, rubbing his hand over the bottom half of his belly. “When I said I was focussing on nothing but the Empire and Ren’s recovery, I hadn’t forgotten about you, you know.”

He's grateful that his uniform hides his small but pregnant bump. Despite his unborn child being the size of a lime, Hux has already taken to talking to it, touching his stomach affectionately, admiring the small, soft curve of his belly because Kylo had said—

Hux feels like throwing up again. Kylo doesn’t remember that Hux is _pregnant_ with their first pup.

Yesterday, everything was a dream. Their Empire is flourishing, their bond was singing with contentment and he and Kylo were talking about baby names , thirteen weeks pregnant with their very first pup. Now, as Hux walks slowly around the halls of his fortress, it’s a true nightmare. He pays no mind to the tears falling down his cheeks as he treads dizzily down the corridors, meandering past his officers who salute him or bow to him; none of his staff would dare say a word to him anyway about his damp cheeks. Most of them are the personnel from the _Finalizer,_ those who gave their full support to both himself and to Kylo when they joined as Emperor and Supreme Leader respectively.

Even his mind feels emptier. What did Kylo say he’d done? _Shielded_ himself from Hux’s mind? He may not have severed their bond completely but Hux can already feel himself weakening as a result. He looks down at his ring, identical to the one that Kylo used to refuse to take off, and sighs. The way _the new_ Kylo had looked at him, _sneered_ at him, had felt like a spear through Hux’s chest; Kylo hasn’t looked at him with anything else but a resonating admiration in _years._ But it’s true, Hux thinks, that he’d hated Kylo once—and he’s aware that the feeling was very much returned—but things changed after Crait, after they’d both been _so_ vulnerable that there was almost no other choice than to find comfort in each other.

How the mighty fall, Hux thinks. And, oh; Kylo had made him feel _so_ mighty.

He dawdles around the palace for an entire hour, occasionally rubbing his belly but not enough that would arouse rumour about his pregnancy, before deciding to return to the medical wing though fearful that Kylo’s condition has only worsened. Would it be possible for him to lose _more_ memories? Will Hux walk into his room and Kylo will demand to be called ‘ _Ben’?_ Will he demand that the evil Emperor release him from his captivity to return to his mother? Hux suppresses a shiver, his body feeling suddenly cold, matching that of his mind. Even when they were enemies, Hux had never once hesitated to face Kylo Ren, not until this moment.

Hands shaking, Hux knocks on the door to Kylo’s private medical room, entering before hearing a response.

Kylo is no longer in the bed; he’s stood alarmingly straight by the window, still wearing his white hospital gown, looking down with a harsh gaze to the gardens below whilst a male medic stands by the bed, flicking through notes on his datapad.

“Ah. Your Grace,” the medic, a beta, bows. “I was just about to call for you. I’ve assessed the Supreme Leader’s health and I’ve made the decision to discharge him from our care.”

 _“What?”_ Hux asks, feeling elated all of a sudden, smiling. Hux tries to keep his voice down though he admits it’s difficult. If the medic has deemed Kylo healthy enough to be discharged, then does that mean Kylo is _better?_ “Is he—? I mean, does he remember everything?”

But Kylo huffs quietly and strides into the adjoining refresher, closing the door behind him. Hux stares at the ‘fresher door, almost _willing_ him to come back out.

“I’m afraid not, sir,” the medic says with a shake of his head and Hux’s world implodes for the second time that day. “He says that he does not even remember the battle of Crait.”

“I see. So _why_ do you believe that he’s fit enough to be let go?” Hux folds his arms over his chest.

“There’s nothing we can do for him, sir. Retrograde amnesia is a difficult condition, especially when it’s the result of a cranial trauma, and it becomes undoubtedly _more_ complicated when the Force is involved. We…aren’t sure whether the blow to his head even _caused_ the loss of his memories. The Force is…well, it’s unpredictable, sir. We aren’t trained to handle Force-users, no medic in the galaxy is. We can advise him on how to help the memories return to him but…I’m sorry, my Emperor.”

Hux says nothing in response, only casts his gaze downward to the ground, suppressing the urge to either scream or sob.

“Very well,” Hux says, and looks up. “Is there anything _I_ can personally do to aid his recovery?”

“Talking will help more than you think,” the medic replies. “Explaining past events to him. There may even be items that will act as cues to bring his lost memories back. But I must tell you, my liege, that…there is a possibility that Supreme Leader Ren’s memories will not return.”

“The spirit of the First Order is built entirely upon possibilities,” Hux says, already being fully aware that their chances of recovery are slim. Idle hope has never looked so good.

The door to the ‘fresher opens suddenly, making Hux jump in surprise, even more so when Kylo emerges in his soft black leggings, scruffy lace-up boots and a baggy, hooded top. His eyes look worn, tired, even more burdened that Hux is used to seeing them. His mate’s brown eyes have only warmed since he and Hux began their life together, grown softer as he grows happier, and Hux can still see that glimmer in his alpha’s eyes, albeit fading.

“I wish to be shown to my chambers,” Kylo says, gaze falling anywhere except for Hux’s face.

“I’ll take you,” Hux answers, and holds the door open for Kylo— _for his mate—_ who merely brushes past him without so much as another word, but the sensation of having Kylo’s body touch his for even just a brief second is almost electric. Hux feels faint.

Hux walks slowly next to Kylo, taking the long way around to their shared chambers on the top floor of their four-story fortress, wanting as much time with his lover as possible. He searches his mind for the right words to say, for the _first_ thing he should let Kylo know—that he loves him? That he’s safe here? That Hux will tear the galaxy apart if it meant giving Kylo his memories back? But by the time Hux plucks up the courage to speak, they’re outside the grand brown doors to their room.

“Here,” Hux says, halting outside the door and turning to face Kylo. “These are our chambers.”

“Ah. _Shared._ Of course,” Kylo comments, gazing up at the extravagant door in front of him and then down to his wedding ring, staring at it as though it’s been put there without his consent.

“Yes.”

Kylo stares down at the ground. “There must be a vacant room I can sleep in. I do not believe that the two of us staying together would be a good idea, General. _Ah._ Hux.”

Another spear through the chest.

“Ren.” Hux’s hand twitches, seeking Kylo’s, but ignores it. “Look, I understand this must be difficult for you but I only wish to help you. I’m not the man you used to hate. Believe me. I didn’t trick you into bonding with me, _you chose me._ ”

“Are you going to show me to another room or should I find one myself?” Kylo’s entire demeanour is defensive. Shoulders tense angled slightly away from Hux’s body, his fingers flex anxiously by his sides. He looks _skittish,_ even, Hux thinks, unbecoming of an alpha, as though he may spook and bolt if Hux isn’t too careful with his handling of him.

Hux sighs, defeated. “Fine. We’ve got guest bedrooms on the lower floor. This way.”

This time, Kylo stays one step behind Hux until they reach another door, and Hux feels like there’s a stranger following him, a shadow he doesn’t know, a ghost, an empty shell that’s waiting to be refilled with the emotion it once knew. The claiming mark on Hux’s neck is _burning._

“This place is too big,” Kylo states, and Hux looks back over his shoulder to see him gazing around at the tapestries on the walls with a frown on his face. “It’s unnecessary.”

“Well. There are precisely 450 rooms in the entire fortress, including 19 state rooms, 52 principal bedrooms, 188 staff bedrooms, 92 offices, 12 dining rooms and 78 bathrooms,” Hux recites, slightly hurt that Kylo is practically insulting the castle that he helped design. It’s definitely not the first time someone has asked about the grandness of his—and Kylo’s—home; but it’s the first time he’s repeated it to Kylo himself.

After finishing the rest of the walk in silence, the pair halt in front of a sleek, red door with the number ‘5’ painted onto it in gold.

“This is our largest guest room, so you’ll be comfortable in here but, uh, Ren? Could I…invite you to dinner this evening?” Hux asks hesitantly. “It may give us a chance to talk things over—”

“I’m not hungry. I’d appreciate it if I was left to rest.” But before Kylo can hurry inside the guest room, Hux steps in front of him, blocking his path.

“The doctors have _advised_ me that I should talk to you, Ren,” Hux says. “It might help you remember.”

“Get out of my way, _omega,”_ Kylo growls, tone slipping into that of his persuading, alpha voice, and the hairs on the back of Hux’s neck stand on end.

But Hux stands his ground, nauseated by the feeling of having to stand up to his mate, or perhaps his morning sickness is trying to rear its ugly head.

“ _Don’t call me that,”_ Hux replies, feeling the tears threatening to fall again, heartbroken, idly sliding his hand over his belly. “You promised me that you’d never use your alpha voice on me.”

“I promised you a lot of untrue things in the past, it would seem,” Kylo forces something into Hux’s palm, gaze burrowing into Hux’s skull; Hux can’t look away. “I need to meditate. I warn you, Hux, do not disturb me.”

Hux’s mouth falls open as he stares in shock at Kylo, who pushes the door to the bedroom open before sliding through the gap and slamming it closed in Hux’s face. He finally looks down into his palm and sees Kylo’s wedding ring, forced back upon him, unwanted by its owner. Heaving for breath, Hux presses his fist against his forehead, the pressure in his head growing almost unbearable; a pounding and relentless headache that’s only been worsening since Kylo had woken up with his memories lost.

This is a nightmare, Hux thinks, and there’s seemingly no way of waking up, only ways of drowning further in its dark, gaping maw.

Once he’s managed to blink away the blurriness of his vision, Hux slumps off to his chambers, locking the door quickly behind him once he’s inside. He unclips his cape and allows it to pool around him on the floor, striding away from it and towards the cabinet on the left-hand side of the room, unable to look at the grand bed in the centre, dreading sleeping alone in its soft black sheets that are filled with Kylo’s comforting scent.

Whilst Kylo's wedding ring is clutched tightly in his palm, he opens the glass doors of the fine wooden cabinet, pushing all other bottles of alcohol aside to the one at the very back, the one Hux had bought especially a few years ago when it looked as though a terribly-injured Kylo wouldn’t make it through the night. It’s a whiskey—named _‘Sunset Whiskey’—_ and it shimmers a dark gold in its clear bottle. Its alcohol concentration is supposedly doubled in strength during its creation, making even the hardiest of creatures succumb to its powerful taste, knocked out after only one or two glasses. Hux isn’t quite sure which system it even comes from, but he’s in need of it now. He gives Kylo's unique, shining wedding ring one last kiss before placing it in the hip pocket of his tunic, unable to be parted from it. He wants to believe that his mate will be needing it back one day but the emptiness inside of his chest and the burning of the mark on his neck is telling him otherwise. He sniffles, turning his attention back to his drink.

Since he’d purchased it from an illegal marketplace on a dingy planet, Hux has kept it hidden back of his drinks cabinet, saved for the one occasion where he’d want his consciousness to drown in liquid pain: Kylo’s death.

But as soon as he takes the first mouthful, before he swallows it, he _remembers._ The child; Kylo’s pup that’s growing inside of him, a little lime-sized fetus that doesn’t deserve to be caught up in its mother’s pain.

Hux is quick to spit the whiskey out of his mouth, shooting it out of his mouth in a steady stream like a fountain’s display, coughing to make sure _none_ goes down his throat.

“I’m sorry,” he says, sitting down on the couch, pushing the glass away from him, making sure it’s the other side of the coffee table and out of reach. He lifts his tunic up, unzipping his trousers before pulling them down to expose the soft skin of his belly, a little plump but nithing too noticable with his clothes on. “I said I hadn’t forgotten about you, and I haven’t. But, things are a little complicated now so you’ll have to bear with me if I get stressed. Your father, he—. He doesn’t remember us. But whatever happens, my little darling, you’ll be loved, I promise.”

Hux’s stomach flutters, and he chooses to imagine it’s the kick of his unborn pup and not the churning of worry for a future unknown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Let the angst begin.
> 
> My tumblr is [@solohux](http://solohux.tumblr.com/) ❤️
> 
> And I'm also on twitter now! Find me [@solohuxx](https://mobile.twitter.com/solohuxx) 💙


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's mentions of anxiety and a panic attack in this chapter. Mind your triggers! 
> 
> Thank you so much for all of your continued support for this fic. It keeps me inspired! Enjoy! ❤️

The following three days pass without any progress.

Hux continues to pester Kylo, wanting to talk to him about everything and anything, but Kylo remains distant, still fighting against the quiet voice inside his mind that’s telling him that this is all _real._ He spends most of his time in the guest room, sleeping or meditating, admitting only to himself that keeping his and Hux’s bond suppressed is more effort than it should be. A compliment to its strength, but another reason for Kylo to believe it was made under false pretences.

Meditation has failed him, too, as though the Force itself is eluding him in such a way that he’s stuck behind a brick wall whilst his memories remain unreachable on the other side and no amount of summoning his Force-powers can knock it down.  

He’s lost inside his own mind.

Gazing out of the floor-to-ceiling window and down into the palace gardens, Kylo shivers, terrified by the prospect of living a life he doesn’t belong in. In a repeat of the previous evenings, Kylo’s datapad pings with a message just as the sun begins to set, sinking into the light blue sky in the distance to give rise to the planet’s twin moons, and he stalls for a minute or two before going to where it sits on the table to read it.

           HUX, A. [1730]: _May I ask you to join me for dinner tonight in our chambers?_

           HUX, A. [1730]: _*My chambers. Apologies._ _Force of habit._

Kylo huffs. Can he decline Hux’s invitation for a fourth time? How long before the omega realises that he isn’t wanted? How long before he comes clean about how he managed to seduce Kylo into mating with him? No. Hux is _not_ his past _or_ his future, Kylo thinks, typing out his simple and blunt reply.

            REN, K. [1733]: _no thank you_

The message sends with a _woosh!_ and Kylo’s chambers are silent again, nothing but the quiet thrum of his suppressed bond, just background noise. He slams the datapad down and stomps into the bathroom, his mind telling him that he should be infuriated by an _omega_ asking for his presence but his instincts remain calm and undisturbed as though they’ve been reprogrammed to be submissive under omegas— _Hux._

Omegas have only ever proved themselves to be weak. Luke Skywalker is the first omega that comes to Kylo’s mind. A frail and overly-soft old man, Skywalker allowed himself to be dominated by his need for _affection,_ adopting snivelling Force-sensitive orphans and ‘ _caring’_ for them at his Jedi school, only for his fear of Ben’s power, both as a Force-user and as a young and strong alpha, to be his downfall. _Fear._ Pathetic, feeble _omegan_ fear. It wasn’t the hum or the green glow of Luke’s lightsaber that woke Ben from his sleep that fated night; it was the scent of a terrified omega, a scent that would never fail to awaken every instinct in an alpha, even one as young as Ben was, and send them feral.

Perhaps if Luke hadn’t been so afraid that night, Ben’s rage wouldn’t have engulfed as much as it did.

Despite Kylo turning against his dark master in the end, Snoke had always been right about omegas. Their heats are the only thing of use, to give alphas heirs and spread their legs to provide alphas with a warm hole to fill upon command. Though, it would seem, Armitage Hux has become the strongest omega in the history of the galaxy but Kylo knows the truth; his power has only come from seducing an alpha. Hux couldn’t be _that_ competent, could he? No omega could. But, Kylo thinks, Starkiller Base was Hux’s brainchild _and_ he was animal enough to give the order to destroy the Hosnian System—Kylo has seen the recorded video of Hux’s Starkiller speech, recalling how authoritative Hux looked, how the red blast from the Base seemed to bring out every emotion in his pale eyes, how his hair looked like a crown—

Kylo stops himself. _No._ The tiredness is getting to him; he knows that his mind would not usually dwell on Hux and his… _features._ After running a pool of freezing cold water into his sink, Kylo cups some of it in his hands and splashes it onto his face, repeating the action over and over again until his skin begins to sting from the cold.

“Wake up,” he whispers to himself, slapping his own cheek, jabbing at his facial scar in the hopes that the latent pain would succeed in startling him back into consciousness, rousing him from whatever dream he’s slipped into. _“Wake up.”_

He looks up, staring at his reflection in the mirror, but finding he doesn’t recognise the person looking back at him. The man in the mirror, his eyes are _soft,_ a happiness behind them that Kylo has never known. His body even feels bigger than he remembers; more muscle, more strength, more _fight._ The only cause that Kylo ever remembers fighting for was that of the Supreme Leader and his Knights of Ren, but he’d never truly accomplished anything for them.

But for Hux? Kylo has seemingly conquered the galaxy.

He dries his face, and goes back to his bed, slightly amazed that the quarters he’s been staying in are bigger than that of his on the _Finalizer_ or the _Supremacy._ He flops down onto his back, staring up at the ceiling, idly bringing his hand up to trace down the scar on his neck, the claiming mark. He wonders how it came about; how anyone could possibly get so close to him _enough_ for him, as an alpha, would want to be marked and claimed by an _omega._

Hux would know. He’d be able to recount the entire event, likely down to the clothes they were wearing and what they had for dinner that day.

Kylo shakes off the thought of the former General with a quick shake of his head and a low groan. It’s been three days since he slammed the door on Hux, and he’s been avoiding him ever since. He can’t abide the way Hux looks at him; like he’s the most important thing in the galaxy, like he’s _in love_ with him. It’s not the way that Hux is supposed to look at him, Kylo thinks. Hux’s gaze is supposed to be cold and harsh, like the way a predator would look at its prey before it’s devoured, not warm, and certainly not loving.

With a heavy sigh, Kylo sits up and crosses his legs, folding his hands together in his lap, ready to seek out the quietness of meditation once again. With his claim mark beginning to sting, Kylo can’t help but gaze down to his left hand, staring at the ring of paler skin around his ring finger where his _wedding band_ once sat. The portion of skin that’s lighter than the rest of his hand makes the hairs on Kylo’s neck stand on end; a testament to how little his past self took the ring off. Even as he tries to look away, the Force seems to be guiding his eyes back to it, not wanting him to look away.

“What are you trying to tell me?” He asks aloud, hoping for an answer

When no answer does come, Kylo sighs and prepares himself for meditation, wondering whether this time will be any different from the previous half-a-dozen. Ignoring his furiously painful headache, Kylo closes his eyes and focuses only on the sound of his own breathing.

“Show me,” he says to the Force. “My mind is open this time. Please. Show me _something._ ”

Ben Organa-Solo had been taught the ways of gentle meditation, but that was the Jedi way. Kylo can feel his anger and rage being concentrated into one sphere of power, fuelling his feelings, heightening his senses until all he can feel is the Dark Side binding him together like an ancient riddle that’s refusing to be solved.

“I seek truth,” Kylo whispers, imagining himself sitting in an empty room, awaiting someone to enter and show him the pathway he desires, feeling of the Force beginning to flutter around him like live electricity. “Show me. _I need it.”_

The words he speaks are different from his meditation sessions from the last few days, the sessions that have only brought more pain and more emptiness to his already-barren mind. This time, he feels open, _willing,_ wanting to see the truth rather than hide from it like he has been. And suddenly, Kylo’s headache subsides almost all at once, and he groans at the abruptness of its disappearance, allowing his mind’s eye to open to see a blinding white light coming towards him.

 _The hangar bay is bustling with Stormtroopers and TIE pilots, readying themselves for deployment. All around are breathtakingly powerful ships and Stormtroopers, all in formation and marching towards a larger carrier, boarding in the same uniform manner as their march. Looking out of the hangar bay doors, a clear blue sky and a wide, grassy plain can be seen; the view from the main hangar bay of the royal residence on_ _Lisuune_.

 _In the centre of it all sits the almighty_ _TIE_ Silencer, _looking polished and prepped, ready to annihilate everything in its path. At the foot of the ship’s ramp, two figures are locked in an embrace whilst everyone shuffles around them, unwilling to disturb their leaders, though their embrace is so tight that it looks as though nothing could break them apart._  

_Supreme Leader Ren has his arms around the Emperor’s waist as the two kiss fervently, whilst Hux holds his arms around Kylo’s shoulders, unwilling to give an inch of breathing space. Hux is dressed in the same regal attire as always; a white uniform with a red cape, but Kylo has his armour on, complete with a flowing black cape and his shining wedding ring on his ungloved hand, lightsaber clipped to his belt._

_“Konnarr is only two systems away,” Kylo says, breaking the kiss to nuzzle against his lover’s cheek. “I won’t be far.”_

_“Distance is irrelevant,” Hux replies, craning his neck upwards to allow his mate access to the claim mark on his neck. “I sometimes miss you when you’re in the next room. The point is, you’re not beside me as you should be.”_

_Kylo huffs, laughing, but doesn’t need any more encouragement to give his omega’s mark a little bit of attention before boarding his ship for the mission. He places open-mouthed kisses all over the scar, smiling against Hux’s pale skin when he hears the omega moan, feeling his gloved hand move to caress the back of his head, whilst his own claim mark—made by his omega—seems to flutter gently as though he’s sharing in Hux’s pleasure from the kisses. A claxon sounds out across the hangar, signalling that the troopers are on-board their ships and are ready. All that’s keeping them waiting is their leader._

_“I have to go,” Kylo says, pulling away from Hux’s neck, moving to rest their foreheads against each other._

_“Be safe,” Hux whispers, taking hold of both of Kylo’s hands, squeezing his eyes shut. “Come back to me.”_

_“Always, my love. I promise,” Kylo replies, stepping away from Hux and towards his shuttle, though their hands remain held until it’s just their fingertips grasping onto each other, neither wanting to be the one to let go first._

_And as the Silencer’s ramp beings to ascend, Kylo stands in the doorway for as long as he can, looking down at his mate, falling in love all over again at the sight of him in his royal beauty, cape billowing around him and hair tousling out of place underneath his laurel-leaf crown from the gust of air from the Silencer’s hydraulics. A single tear drips from Hux’s eye just before the ramp locks into place, but Kylo manages to see it, feel it burn his own cheek, and only when he lifts his finger to touch where he felt the pain does he realises that he’s shed a tear too._

_Little did Kylo know that that would be the last he’d see of his mate for a long time. He’ll see Emperor Hux again in a few days time, but not his mate, not his husband; just another man that he thought he hated._

Kylo wakes up gasping, finding himself lying sprawled out on his bed instead of sat up like he was when he entered his meditative state, breathing heavily and body seemingly trying to ride out the spasms that have overtaken him. Was that a _memory?_ His mind certainly _feels_ a little less empty now, as though a small flame has been ignited at the centre of it, trying to light the darkness but it isn’t strong enough yet, still too little to be significant but it’s _warmth_ and _light_ nonetheless.

The memories that Kylo has left of Hux, the ones that depict him as _General Hux,_ cruel and heartless and _utterly indifferent towards Kylo Ren,_ are not of the man that he’s just seen. The _Hux_ that Kylo remembers would certainly not have stood in a hangar bay that’s filled with the finest and strongest ships in the galaxy, in a palace with jewels and power and _wealth_ in incredible surplus, clinging onto his lover as though afraid to let go. Kylo even remembers believing that Hux is possibly even incapable of loving, that he’s nothing more than a lifelike droid, only with a despicable sneer and an unrelenting hate for Snoke’s young alpha apprentice.

But recalling the scene he’s just been shown, Kylo realises that he may have been wrong about Hux and their bond. It’s screaming to be freed from its suppressants but Kylo can’t, not just yet. He needs _more._

And he knows just where to begin.

It’s now late in the evening, and the sun of Lisuune is low in the blue sky, sitting comfortably on the horizon to make way for its twin moons to take centre stage. Kylo scuttles off the bed, ignoring the newfound weakness in his legs, to grab the datapad that he slammed down before, thanking the stars that he didn’t break it. He taps his messaging application, seeing that the only conversation there is with Hux, stomach churning at the sight of his blunt reply only hours ago.

REN, K. [1902]: _is the offer of dinner still available?_

He stares at the bottom of the conversation, waiting for Hux’s reply, _hoping_ that he’ll be given the chance to recover what’s been lost. Breathing heavily, he keeps the image of Hux and his single, falling tear at the forefront of his mind, knowing that it means _something_ to him now, that Hux is no longer just another empty face that Kylo is supposed to fight against.

They’re partners, in every sense of the word. In life, in love and in the war.

The datapad beeps.

          HUX, A. [1902]: _Always, Ren. I have an appointment first but I am free in an hour’s time. My chambers or yours?_

          REN, K. [1903]: _ours._

//////////////

The walk up to Hux’s chambers is a long one, Kylo thinks, despite it only being a few floors up but each step through the corridors of _his_ palace only makes Kylo feel _more_ unnerved, a stranger among the walls that he built. Still, he does his best to remain calm and open, keeping the image of a radiant but distressed Hux at the very front of his mind to fuel his determination to get to the bottom of whatever has happened to him.

Finally reaching the grand door to Hux’s—and his own, he supposes—bedchambers, Kylo brings his hand up to knock but hesitates, like a devious cadet waiting for permission to enter their principal’s office. He may as well be, he thinks. He has just as much familiarity with that scenario as he does with this one: _none._

But before he _can_ knock, he hears voices coming from inside the slightly-ajar door, one beings Hux’s and another one that Kylo does not recognise. Instead of entering straight away, Kylo lingers, listening in.

“I am merely sleep deprived, doctor,” Hux says, an angered tone to his voice.

“Forgive me, my liege,” a male voice says—the medic. “But it is more than that. You have become more lethargic, less attentive in your meetings, your blood sugar is low, as is your blood pressure. Even without medical aid, Emperor, I can smell it on you; the effects of a deprived mating bond.”

Kylo’s stomach sinks. Hux is unwell, it would seem, and it’s all his fault.

The medic continues, his tone softened, “But perhaps a physical examination may prove my diagnosis wrong. Do I have your permission to touch your claim mark, Emperor? Just quickly.”

Hux hesitates, “Very well _but with gloves._ ”

"It would be better without gloves, my liege. If I could feel the skin for myself--"

"No. _With_ gloves."

“Very well, sir.”

Kylo hears himself growl, feeling a red-hot anger consume him before the wave of confusion engulfs him. Another soul touching an omega’s claim mark without permission is punishable by _death_ on some planets and is seen as a challenge on a mating claim on others, tainting such an intimate scar, and Kylo feels his instincts flurrying as he imagines the medic rubbing his fingers all over Hux’s neck, caressing his marked scent glands. Even his _own_ claiming mark seems to be tingling, thrumming with discomfort. The voices bring Kylo’s attention back down.

“Pain, my Emperor?”

“A little.”

“How severe?”

Hux pauses, “Not very.”

“Hot or cold?”

“Look. You are aware of the situation with the Supreme Leader, doctor,” Hux replies. “It is out of my hands.”

“Hmph. I am _aware_ that he has made little effort with you since the accident.”

“Hold your tongue,” Hux snaps, and Kylo’s skin prickles at the ferocity in his tone, so uncharacteristic of an omega. “Ren is _still_ your ruler despite his memory lapse and he is _still_ my mate. I will not tolerate him being spoken about like that. Remember your place, doctor, or else I shall be _forced_ to remind you.”

Kylo can’t help but smile at hearing Hux coming to his defence though he feels a wave of guilt replacing his anger at having been nothing but crude and short with Hux over the last few days yet, clearly, Hux doesn’t hesitate in defending Kylo from any oncoming antagonism.

“My apologies, Emperor. I meant no offence. I shall prescribe you some vitamins to take with your breakfast each morning but your condition goes beyond medical help so I shall retire. Long may the First Order prosper.”

There’s no more exchanging of words and Kylo doesn’t have time to run or hide before the medic emerges from the room _._ He’s a beta, of a similar height to Kylo but a much slimmer build, fitting in more with the average beta stereotype of _tall_ and _thin._ Shining blue eyes hide behind a pair of round-lensed glasses, and short blond hair sits gelled atop his head. Kylo wants to make a rude comment about his large forehead but refrains.

“Oh,” the medic exclaims. “Supreme Leader. Forgive me, I did not mean to keep you waiting.”

“Mm.” Kylo merely studies the medic as he bows and walks away, scowling at the back of his head.

He would have kept on scowling if it weren’t for the strong scent emitting from Hux’s chambers through the wide-open door, sending waves of his unique scent towards Kylo’s nostrils, making him want to inhale as much as he can before it goes. Entering without knocking, Kylo holds his breath for what he may find, wondering what he can possibly say to Hux after treating him with such disgust. He was expecting to find the Emperor standing beside a gold statue of himself in all of his finest regalia but instead, Kylo finds Hux sitting on the edge of the lavish couch in the living area of the main chamber, wearing a pair of black pants and a cotton white, button-up shirt, looking _less_ regal than ever, save for the laurel-leaf crown that still sits atop his head of red hair.

“ _Ren_ ,” Hux exclaims, pushing his hair back, giving Kylo a gentle smile, trying to wipe the tears from his cheeks without Kylo seeing. “I didn’t hear you come in. I’m glad you came.”

It’s as lavish as Kylo had expected; primarily black décor with red accessories, some gold. It’s almost like its own single-floored house; main living area with rooms branching off to the left and right.

“I’m early. I passed the medic in the hallway. He told me that you’re sick,” Kylo says, supposing that he shouldn’t admit to Hux that he was eavesdropping, gaze darting to the claim mark on Hux’s neck, wanting to touch it to rid it of the medic’s.

“Sick? Hardly,” Hux says, sniffling, standing up to take Kylo’s hooded cloak from him, moving to hang it on the black coat stand that’s next to the door. “Doctor Komine is a little paranoid about my health. He’s being cautious. I’m just a little run down with political work. Sleep deprived, I suppose. Nothing to be worried about.”

“Right.”

“I’ve ordered dinner for us both,” Hux says, closing the door gently, changing the subject. “I hope you don’t mind. I was under the impression that your food preferences won’t have been changed since…”

“That’s fine,” Kylo mutters, immediately chastising himself for his reserved response. “I’m sure you know what I like.”

“Would you like a drink?” Hux gestures to his grand drinks cabinet that sits proudly against the far wall, in amongst the plush, black-fabric suite and dark bocote coffee table, filled with wines and ports, all looking incredibly expensive.

Kylo shakes his head. “I don’t drink.”

Hux’s expression falls for a moment but then recovers. “ _Right._ Of course you don’t. Not yet. I remember.”

As Hux closes the drinks cabinet, Kylo frowns. _Does_ he drink? He chooses not to, knowing that it has consequences for his connection with the Force, heightening his senses to the point where he feels almost overwhelmed by it. But from Hux’s response, Kylo wonders whether that’s changed, that being ‘ _free’_ from Snoke has made him a little more carefree when it comes to alcohol.

“Aren’t _you_ having a drink?” Kylo asks, puzzled when Hux comes out of the adjoining kitchen with a goblet of thick, pink liquid. It’s some sort of fruit smoothie; Kylo can smell it.

“Oh,” Hux says, taking a sip of his drink. “No. I’m off the drink for a while. I’m on a bit of a diet, you see. I overdid it at our last banquet and seem to have, _uh,_ piled on a few pounds.”

Kylo glances down to where Hux is gently patting his belly. It’s almost unnoticeable but there _is_ a slight bump to his stomach, his _lower_ stomach; a bit of an odd place to gain weight but Kylo doesn’t dwell on it, his thoughts interrupted by a thrumming inside his mind, a strain on the bond. He presumed Hux’s emotions are trying to slip through.

“You can sit down, Kylo. It’s alright,” Hux says, lowering himself down onto the plush sofa.

For a moment, Kylo wants to scream that everything is _not_ alright, but he refrains, remembering that Hux is his _mate,_ and he’s only trying to help. Gingerly, Kylo sits down beside Hux, being conscious to leave a gap between them, though Kylo sits rigidly straight, hands flat on his thighs.

“What made you change your mind?” Hux asks, putting his glass down.

“I…One of my memories came back,” Kylo says, looking anywhere but at Hux, staring down at his hands. “We were in the hangar bay before my mission to Konnarr. I saw how you were holding me, I felt how my mark craved your touch. You told me to be safe, to come back to you.”

“And you promised me you would, like you always do,” Hux says, breath quickening, teary eyes burrowing into Kylo’s skull, obviously seeking _more._

“That’s all I remembered, Hux. I’m sorry.”

Since _when_ does he apologise to Hux? Kylo can’t recall the last time he ever spoke those words to anyone, never mind Hux; _an omega,_ but he quickly dismisses those _classist_ thoughts from his mind, wanting to keep himself open to encourage memories back to him.

When Kylo does manage to glance at Hux, his eyes are filled with tears, elated, and Kylo finds that he doesn’t feel _repulsed_ by him. He takes in Hux’s features whilst there’s a comfortable silence between them; the softness of his green eyes, the shimmer of his red hair and the _elegant_ sharpness to his cheekbones. And…the _freckles?_ Kylo hadn’t even been aware that Hux _has_ freckles, but now he strangely finds himself comparing them to stardust. Even his scent seems to change, becoming completely intoxicating to the point where Kylo wants to lean in and drown in it. _Too much, too soon,_ he thinks.

“But you?” Kylo says, running his hand through his hair. “You weren’t how I remember you, Hux. And I thought…Maybe you aren’t lying about what we’ve become, about what I’ve lost. And I want to _know.”_

And once Kylo confesses that he wants to _know_ what he’s lost, Hux’s eyes seem to brighten.

“Well, the doctors said that _talking_ about what you don’t remember may help trigger some things,” Hux says, nodding. “So, um, if you want to ask questions then I’ll do my best to answer then in as much detail as I can.”

Kylo can sense Hux’s hope trying to filter through into his mind, but he doesn’t want to get in too deep just yet, still teetering on the edge of truth.

“From the beginning?” Kylo fidgets and Hux nods. “After the lightsaber exploded.”

Their dinner arrives halfway through Hux’s recount of the Crait battle, and the pair move into the adjoining dining room to eat. Hux has ordered a cut of medium-rare prime rib for Kylo, accompanied with glistening new potatoes and mixed vegetables; Kylo's absolute favourite meal, though he doesn't comment on it, merely diving in with his knife and fork, starving after only picking at the lavish meals brought to him by the little delivery droid over the past few days. Hux, it would seem, favours chicken, having a small breast, the same new potatoes and veg on his plate. They sit opposite each other at the square table, its dark wood giving it an old look but Kylo can see that no expense has been spared here either. The delivery droid moves to light the candles that rest in their decorative holder in the middle of the table but Hux waves its lighter away.

“The remaining Resistance fighters fled to the old mine on Crait. We’d annihilated their old speeders, leaving them hiding in the crumbling base. You…confronted an old enemy,” Hux says, voice trailing off as he picks at the vegetables on his plate.

Kylo frowns, taking a gulp of his water.

“An old enemy?”

“Yes. So, afterwards—”

“Hux, wait,” Kylo says, shaking his head, feeling a cold sweat appearing on his skin, though it isn’t his own panic that’s bothering him; it’s Hux’s. “There’s something you’re not telling me.”

Hux sips as his drink, eyes downcast, which only seems to make Kylo _more_ worried. What’s Hux trying to hide from him?

“It was Luke Skywalker.”

Kylo’s chest clenches, his stomach churns. _Skywalker,_ the man Kylo has waited years to confront, and now has no memory of their meeting.

“Luke…” Kylo cuts himself off, refusing to call him by the title he never deserved; uncle _or_ master. “He was there— _why? How?”_

“To distract you from ending the Resistance. You duelled him whilst the remaining members escaped on the _Millennium Falcon._ Ren, I’m not going to hide this from you but, _please,_ take some deep breaths.”

Hux reaches across the table and places his hand over Kylo’s, his wedding ring gleaming in the low light of the dining room from the candelabra above them. Kylo looks to their hands and then up to Hux, utterly confused at the softness that Hux is showing him.

“Skywalker…is dead,” Hux exhales, speaking slowly, _quietly,_ and Kylo wonders whether Hux hears his mind roar. “He was a Force projection, he was never _on_ Crait. The old hermit never moved from his hiding place on that backwater planet. The effort killed him. You told me that you felt him pass on through the Force.”

 _“What?”_ Kylo breathes heavily, his consciousness churning to try and process something so monumental that he doesn’t remember. He pulls his hand away from Hux’s, eyes wide and seemingly unfocused, feeling a strange sensation in his chest as though he’s feeling the loss all over again; a mix of anger and confusion.

“Ren, _breathe,”_ Hux demands, albeit softly. “I know how you’ve struggled with this. I know what Skywalker did to you in your hut that night, the _coward._ You think his passing should’ve made you stronger but it didn’t. I’ve seen the way it torments you, but that event is a part of you, and you have a right to know.”

Kylo hears Hux’s words but he doesn’t reply, he's hyperventilating. Uncertainty fills his chest and sets his mind alight in a flurry of anxiousness. He pushes his fist against his forehead, _wishing_ the memories back into his mind but nothing comes.

 “What of General Organa?” Kylo asks hesitantly, wondering if any other _Skywalker_ blood is on his hands

“She lives,” Hux says, and Kylo can tell that he’s attempting to keep the disdain from his tone. “She’s all that’s left of the Reistance. Her, and your cousin.”

“My…cousin?” Kylo blinks. He _has_ no cousin.

Hux nods. “The scavenger. Rey Skywalker. The last Jedi. She’s the product of your Uncle being careless with an alpha during one of his heats. An old flame, so you’ve told me in the past. Apparently he sent his child away not long after she was born, to Jakku, to hide her from you, a vision he’d had of you bringing harm to her.”

“Rey _…Skywalker?”_

Her words to him echo throughout his cold mind, taunting him harder now than they did before.

_‘You’re afraid that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader!’_

Cousin. She’s his cousin, blood related, an alpha, the _same_ blood as Vader, the same power in her as in him. No _wonder_ he felt compelled to make her join him; they’re _family._ Kylo’s mind is sent into complete disarray and he groans, pushing the heels of his fists against his forehead. Before he can fight it, he becomes lost in an unsolvable maze in his mind, running around corners trying to get to the centre where it’s as though his _soul_ waits for him, waiting to turn him back into the person he’s meant to be, where truths of his _life_ wait for him to reclaim them and become the person he once _was,_ but he only ever meets dead ends where horrendous dark shadows claw at him, trying to tear the clothes from his body; after all, they’ve already taken his soul. The clothes on his back are all he has left, it would seem.

He keeps running, _running,_ has to find out who he is— _Uncle Luke is gone, Rey is a Skywalker, she’s Vader’s heir, Hux is Emperor. Mate, husband, bonded, **forgotten everything** —. _Kylo thinks he hears himself screaming though his mouth remains clamped shut, still trying to escape from the shadows that reach out for him as though wanting to steal _more_ of him away.

“No, _no,_ I need to remember. Should remember. Too weak, this can’t be right—”

Only when Kylo feels the tears on his own cheeks does he feel truly lost, doubting whether he’s even _Kylo Ren_ anymore, a mere imposter living in the body of the mate of Emperor Hux. He’s never felt like less of an alpha in his life.

“Ren, Ren. _Ren._ ”

It’s the voice that Kylo believed he was seemingly programmed to hate, a voice that he’s so used to grating against the inside of his skull—‘ _careful, Ren,’—_ and fuelling his distress until he’d torn apart a communications console and his body ached. But that same voice is now tender, _soothing,_ guiding Kylo back from the edge with tremendous softness, accompanied by a gentle hand caressing through his hair.

“Ren _, hush now,_ come on, listen to my voice. Breathe slowly. Come back to me.”

Silk fingers are slipping around Kylo’s wrist, bringing his shaking hand upwards to be set down upon skin, the feeling of an oddly familiar heartbeat thrumming against his fingers, but it’s not the heartbeat that calms Kylo within moments. He looks up, finding that Hux has guided his hand up to touch the claim mark on his neck—the one Kylo made with his own _teeth_ —and letting him feel the bumps on the scarred skin, the beating of his heart underneath.

“In time with me, Ren. Like we always do. In, and out. Breathe, that’s it. You’re alright, I promise.”

Kylo finds his breathing steadying out as he concentrates on the feeling of the heartbeat, steady and strong, as though it’s beating solely for him. He feels static running up and down his fingers as he rubs his fingertips against Hux’s claim mark, hearing the tiniest of whines from the omega, but Kylo can’t comment, lost for words at how _Hux_ has managed to calm him so easily.

“Hux…I—”

“Ssh, Ren, not now,” Hux replies, fingers softly holding onto Kylo’s wrist, his other hand combing through Kylo’s dark hair as though nothing has been lost between them. “Whatever you want to say, it can wait. Focus on me, deep and slow breaths, hmm.”

Oddly, Kylo nods and obeys, skin prickling at the omega’s softness, even closing his eyes when Hux tells him to in order to aid his calming. But opening them slowly, he can’t help but see Hux differently; like a caring _mate_ rather than a stubborn rival. Kylo exhales one final time before finding that his anxiety has left him, for now.

“Thank you,” he mutters, silently wanting to keep his hand on Hux’s neck, to touch his mark forever. “How did you—?”

“It happens quite a lot,” Hux says, nodding. “You taught me what to do when you get overpowered and overstimulated. You said that touching my claim mark helps to steady you. I hope it wasn’t too much—”

“No, no,” Kylo replies, finally pulling his hand away when he catches himself licking his lips. “It was…Fine. Good.”

As the pair stand from the floor and retake their seats at the table, Kylo can’t rid himself of a thought that’s at the very front of his mind: throughout the entire ordeal, Hux’s heartbeat had remained constant and solid, and Kylo suspects that’s what Hux has been throughout _his_ life too.

Hux gives him a small smile, lips curving at one end, casting his gaze downwards, and Kylo can’t help but stare at the way the omega’s light eyelashes rest upon his pale cheeks; he seems to _glow._

And as Kylo smiles back, he’s certain that he’s felt this before. A fluttering in his stomach, a blush on his cheeks, his instincts churning and _telling_ him to just lean in—

He’s falling in love with Hux all over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The calm before the storm. (◡‿◡✿)
> 
> Also, about who Rey's parents are? I was originally going to have her as a Solo but Rey Skywalker will forever be my favourite headcanon so a Skywalker she shall remain. Whether her other parent is Wedge Antillies, Han Solo, Mara Jade or another alpha who knotted omega Luke during one of his heats, it's up to you! ❤️
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! ❤️
> 
> My tumblr is [@solohux](http://solohux.tumblr.com/) ❤️
> 
> And I'm also on twitter now! Find me [@solohuxx](https://mobile.twitter.com/solohuxx) 💙


	4. Chapter 4

The rest of their evening runs without a hitch, much to Kylo’s surprise. He’s expecting something to go wrong, at least become the victim of another panic attack as Hux talks through snippets of the past but his mate is gentle with him, speaking softly and about things that are almost guaranteed to not send Kylo’s tumultuous mind into more of a struggling state. Nothing of tremendous importance to Kylo’s recovering mind but by the look in Hux’s glistening eyes, of _massive_ importance to him.  

‘ _I must tell you about the time where we fed the sky whales on Aquagonian IV whilst on a royal visit. They were your favourite animal as a child, you told me. I still remember the excitement in your eyes when they flew overhead for the first time.’_

_‘Your aerial assault in the neutral zone between Gosa and Nesso was unprecedented, Ren. It’s in the history books; never before has a single fighter taken down so many enemy ships on their own!’_

_‘Yes, you do drink on occasion. I’d say you’re a giddy drunk, definitely. Your giggles are the sweetest sound.’_

Kylo listens for hours, asking questions when something pops into his mind but, otherwise, he’s completely content to sit and listen to Hux talk about himself and _them_ as a mated couple, though he does stumble sometimes as his mind delays, forgetting that Hux is talking about _him_ and not another man. Hux’s pale pallor, a result of the blocked bond, Kylo’s remembers overhearing Doctor Komine’s words, seems to return to a blushing red too as he speaks despite Kylo still suppressing their shared bond. But too afraid to compromise himself again, when the end of the night comes, Kylo convinces Hux to allow them both to sleep in separate rooms for this evening, already feeling a little uncomfortable with being seen in such a vulnerable state by someone who he’s used to competing against, still unable to fight off that last bit of resistance that would allow Hux back into his heart, that would allow their bond to reign free once more.

“If that’s what you wish,” Hux nods, swallowing the rest of his third glass of fruit smoothie. His expression tells Kylo that he’s perfectly happy with his arrangement but he can feel Hux’s disdain rolling off his aura without even _trying_ to read him. Hux still has a loud mind, it would seem, just as _old Kylo_ is used to.

“It is,” Kylo replies, rubbing his hands down his thighs, suddenly being aware of them sitting too close on the couch. “I’ve caused you enough bother for one evening.”

Hux scoffs. “Never, Ren. But we’ll work on eliminating that attitude again like we have before.”

Kylo frowns, but chooses to ask no further questions, suddenly wanting to smile at the idea of Hux helping _him_ with his self-esteem.

“I should go,” Kylo says and stands up abruptly. “I need rest, and I’m sure you do too, Emperor _._ ”

Expecting a snide comment, Kylo is surprised when Hux makes no reply at all, but he does manage to pick up on Hux’s quiet mental response, sneaking through their bond like a rough droplet of icy water.

‘ _I can’t sleep without you beside me.’_

And for the first time since his memories had been lost, Kylo feels _guilty._

“I admit that I’m a little tired this evening, yes. Here,” Hux says, sniffling as though holding back tears. He goes to the door and picks Kylo’s hooded cloak off the hook and brings it back to him. “The palace can be cold at night.”

“Thanks,” Kylo mutters.

To Kylo’s dismay, instead of giving the cloak to him, Hux drapes it over his broad shoulders, making sure that it sits correctly, even brushing away lint from its soft, black fabric. Hux’s ungloved hand lingers around Kylo’s collarbone, thumb gliding over the prominent bone through the thick fabric of Kylo’s clothes, agonisingly close to his claim mark. Kylo closes his eyes in an attempt to compose himself but there’s no denying the electricity running across his skin with the omega’s touch being so close to the scar that he created on Kylo’s skin. Despite their bond still being muted by Kylo, out of fear, can hear Hux’s thoughts seeping through; the desperation he’s feeling to touch Kylo all over, the grief that’s consuming him for the lover that he’s lost.

“Hux,” Kylo whispers, watching Hux’s expression carefully, seeing his pale gaze drift downwards towards his lips.

Hux swallows hard, hand cupped around Kylo’s neck, thumb over his throbbing pulse point, leaning in closer and closer until Kylo can smell the fruit on his breath, see the redness of his lips and the freckles on his skin. Hux’s scent is intoxicating. His name is a soft whisper on Hux’s lips as he’s guided down, lips meeting so gently and slowly that glaciers have moved quicker, Kylo’s eyes widen before drifting closed as Hux controls him, makes him want to _melt._

The kiss is strange, Kylo thinks. It doesn’t _feel_ like he’s kissing someone he’s in love with; it’s like kissing a stranger, unfamiliar with the way their lips taste, unsure of their movements. But Hux, Hux _moans,_ as though getting oxygen back into his lungs that he’s been deprived of, gasping like breaking through the surface of a dark sea, having finally found his lifeline again. Kylo, regardless of the fact that this feels like his _first_ kiss, can’t deny the way his innards are melting, the way his heart is beating wildly and only getting faster as his mind focusses on the situation—Hux’s lips, his hand on Kylo’s neck, his hungry sounds. It’s as though a warm glow is surrounding them both like a blanket, beckoning Kylo to open his mind and his heart to Hux, nothing has ever felt more right—

“I’m sorry,” Hux suddenly says, pulling away, covering his mouth. He shakes his head. “No, I shouldn’t have done that. That wasn’t fair.”

Kylo hides his disappointment well.

“No, it’s okay,” he protests but Hux has already stepped away from him. “I know…I know you still see me as the alpha you fell in love with.”

Hux looks up slowly, folding his arms around himself as though wanting to be held but knowing he’s alone.

“That’s because you _are._ You _are_ the alpha I fell in love with, the one I’m bonded to. I just wish you’d see it,” Hux says, voice trembling on the last word. Sighing and shaking his head, he steps to the door and opens it. “I’ve kept you from your rest long enough, haven’t I? Goodnight, Ren.”

Kylo feels a cold chill on his skin as he stares at Hux, whose gaze is firmly locked on the floor, almost willing him to look up at him, as though part of him is screaming in agreement at Hux’s statement— _‘yes, I am, Hux, I’m right here, help me’—_ but Kylo silences himself, tearing himself apart again in conflict of the person he is and the person he’s supposed to be, still feeling empty inside, his mind void of any sort of memory of Hux, save for the _one_ of him leaving for a mission.

“Goodnight, Hux,” Kylo says, tone as mundane and as bland as though he’s speaking to General Hux on the bridge of the _Finalizer_ and not to his mate in their own bedchambers.

Hux closes the door slowly once Kylo has stepped out, the sound echoing down the corridor. Hesitating to move, Kylo stands still.

The last thing he fully remembers of Armitage Hux is the pair of them butting heads on the _Supremacy;_ Hux ordering Kylo to stay within range of the fleet instead of giving chase to Resistance fighters, of Hux expressing his dislike for Kylo’s pain to manipulate Rey, yet the sweet taste of Hux’s lips linger on his own, and he craves more. The emptiness in his mind is too strong to ignore, it partially being filled with Hux’s kiss, making Kylo feel… _better._

Kylo leans back against the door, closing his eyes, sighing quietly, completely unaware that Hux is unknowingly mirroring him on the other side of the door.

“ _Please_ ,” they both whisper, not knowing that the other is speaking the same desperate words. “ _Help him_.”

///////////////////////

For the next 13 days, Kylo quietly follows Hux everywhere he goes, padding a few paces behind him at all times, never daring to leave his side; for his own piece-of-mind or Hux’s, Kylo isn’t sure but regardless, he has become Hux’s shadow. Still, everywhere he goes, Kylo feels the eyes of their staff and subordinates on him at all times, their voices whispering about how his entire demeanour is different, how he doesn’t stand alert by their Emperor’s side anymore as though the love between them has been lost. And as much as Kylo tries to ignore them, he can’t help but painfully agree with them.

But it’s been made common knowledge that his memory has been lost; Hux had thought it would only make things _more_ difficult if they were to try and hide it.

_“Keeping it a secret would only mean you having to lie to yourself,”_ Hux had said one evening over dinner, a sincerity to his tone that Kylo has found himself becoming more and more comfortable with. _“You’d feel pressured to act like you’re someone else when everyone’s eyes are on us. I don’t…I don’t want you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, Ren. You’re to be you, as normal as possible. Do whatever you feel is natural.”_

Kylo had understood Hux’s side of it and had quietly agreed to be as _normal_ as he can in such strange circumstances but he’d found it difficult to ignore the distance in Hux’s eyes, the obvious _hurt_ at sitting across from the man who means more to him than anything but finding the face of a cold stranger.

And Kylo has _tried_ to be better, _tried_ things within his own power to aid the return of his memories, but the only ‘ _success’_  he’s had are snippets of memories in the form of nightmares. Images of Luke and Rey Skywalker, of Crait’s battle, of blood red underneath a sea of white salt, of an assassination attempt on Emperor Hux’s life, of almost losing an arm in a battle. Nothing he _wants_ to remember but things the Force seems determined to remind him of. He wants the _happy_ memories, the memories that show how far he’s come from the grumpy and lonely alpha that once thought himself as indestructible, the memories of Hux—.

_Hux._ The omega remains at the very centre of Kylo’s thoughts, thoughts that are slowly turning softer as he continues to see Hux as someone other than his obnoxious rival. Their _relationship_ has been slowly improving; perhaps only at _glacial_ speed but improvements nonetheless. Despite still _living_ and _sleeping_ in separate rooms, Kylo has been allowing Hux to give him gentle kisses on the cheek when they say goodnight to each other, kisses that seem to create a tiny spark in Kylo’s chest and in his mind, that make him crave more. He can _feel_ how much Hux wants him, how much he desires to fall into bed with him—and not just for sex. More than anything, Kylo knows that Hux wants the _devotion_ back in their relationship; the relentless dedication and unfathomable faithfulness that once held them together in the strongest of knots, _love_ that was once the envy of the galaxy. Now, there’s only an echo of that fondness left in Kylo’s chest, a mere shadow of the emotion he _knows_ he used to feel for Hux, disappeared completely and leaving him with pieces of his soul missing.

And there’s nothing he can do to fix himself.

But even as he stands to the side of the grand conference room where Hux has gathered some of his personnel for an important strategical meeting, Kylo can hear the thoughts of the surrounding officers, some even questioning _his_ loyalty to their prestigious Emperor.

“It may be wise to spread our scouts further north,” Phasma says, her sharp gaze locked on the blue holograms of the galaxy’s Inner Rim planets that float above the long table, illuminating the otherwise dark room in a glowing hue of sapphire. “We now know of two different rogue factions in this area, Emperor, though one of them is reported to be a base for pirates. They are nothing sinister that would dare be a threat to us.”

Hux stands at the head of the rectangular table, palms flat on its dark surface, and his white uniform radiant among the dark attire of his subordinates, despite him switching from his classic form-fitting tunic for a looser one, flowing around his middle. Even the gold of his laurel-leaf crown manages to catch the light of the holograms, making him _shine_. Kylo has never seen Hux look so regal _;_ perhaps even beautiful _._

A dozen of Hux’s Captains and Colonels, alphas and betas, stand around him, analysing the plans in front of them, holograms edited with red dots to pinpoint the locations of various First Order bases and planets they are yet to conquer. Phasma takes control of the plans, zooming in on one planet until it becomes the only hologram floating above the table’s surface, its contours and ridges of mountains becoming visible on the map.

“I believe that Dumari Prime,” Phasma begins, “Should be the next planet that we focus our aggressive negotiation tactics on. Its northern hemisphere is home to the largest rebellious faction that we’re aware of and squashing them has been postponed for too long. With the Emperor’s yearly spring ball approaching within the coming months, I do _not_ wish to give these fools an opportunity to strike.”

Kylo frowns. _The yearly spring ball?_ Since waking, that’s the first time he’s even heard of such a phrase but the conversation quickly moves on.

“I agree with your logic, Captain, as usual,” Hux says, keeping his stance tall and proud. “Those rebels have sat upon their hill for long enough. Prep the KR-unit and debrief them. They’re to observe and engage with these ruffians, taking whatever action they see fit to rid the galaxy of their disorder.”

“Uh, Emperor, sir?” It’s a Colonel, an alpha, standing next to Phasma at the opposite side of the table. “The KR-unit are to attack without the guidance of their leader?”

And suddenly, all the heads around the table turn to look at Kylo, who feels the blush rise from his stomach to his cheeks, painting him an embarrassed shade of pink.

“Ah,” Hux says. He’s the only person who _hasn’t_ turned to stare at Kylo. “Yes. Of course. My apologies, a force of habit.”

“Unless Supreme Leader Ren _wishes_ to accompany his KR-unit on this mission?” Phasma offers, raising an eyebrow.

The silence of the room slips into mumbled discussion and all Kylo can do is stand there whilst his subordinates openly talk about him as though he’s invisible, debating _too loudly_ amongst themselves about whether their Supreme Leader is capable of leading his own Stormtrooper squad, of whether he still wishes to fight for the First Order or whether he’s merely an empty shell wearing their former Leader’s skin.

“ _Enough_.”

Hux’s raised tone silences the room, his tone reminding them of their place beneath Kylo and himself. The alphas and betas alike are subdued, with a few even bowing their heads in apology for making the Emperor raise his voice. Even Kylo, wide-eyed behind Hux, feels the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end at hearing the omega be so _dominant,_ and pushes the lewd thoughts form his mind that are making his loins stir.

“Supreme Leader Ren is still recovery from a cranial trauma. On the advice of our medics, he is _not_ to put strain on himself or put himself in a situation that may cause further damage to him. By my command, he is not going on this mission.”

Kylo opens his mouth to say something, though he isn’t sure _what,_ but closes it again, knowing that he’s merely an onlooker to this scene and not a participant. Until seconds ago, he wasn’t even aware that he had his own until of troopers; how can a leader hope to lead if he himself is lost?

“Shall we opt for a different unit for the attack, my lords?” Phasma asks. “Or perhaps elect a new leader for that group?”

This time, whilst staring at the back of his head, Hux turns around to Kylo, looking at him with apologetic eyes.

“I think that decision would have to go to the Supreme Leader himself,” Hux says. “Ren? What is your order for your unit?”

Kylo swallows hard, feeling a little out of his depth but only as a result of being unfamiliar with the situation; he has no doubt in his mind that he makes a fine Supreme Leader when his memory isn’t impaired, powerful and intimidating, ruthless both in battle and in negotiation, but with his lack of experience showing, he holds his chin high as he takes his place beside Hux at the table.

“Given the circumstance, I would think it best to send another unit in my stead,” he says, a little surprised by the confidence in his own voice, absent-mindedly thanking his senatorial Amidala-Organa blood for the aid. “My absence may cause rumour amongst the rebels, and we don’t need to build their traitorous thoughts any higher than they already are. If the time to strike is now then that is what we do.”

The Captains and Colonels all nod and a positive murmur sweeps across the room.

“Point well made, Supreme Leader,” Phasma says, smiling at her fellow alpha, lips curving up at one end. “I am in agreement. The CP-unit will step into the boots of your troopers and do you proud, sirs.”

“Agreed,” Hux nods. “Deploy your unit with my support, Captain. If there are no further questions, I end this meeting with my gratitude for your trust and loyalty to the First Order.”

“Long live Emperor Hux, long live Supreme Leader Ren,” the officers in the room chime in unison, and Kylo can feel the proudness radiating from Hux’s mind in warm waves.

The officers shuffle out of the room quietly, giving their leaders a salute as they pass them and Kylo nods courteously them, except for Captain Phasma who places her armoured hand on Kylo’s shoulder and bows her head slightly; a sign of upmost respect between two strong alphas. She leaves, her lips still painted with a curved smile, and it all feels very familiar.

“Ren?”

Kylo jumps, startled by Hux’s voice and his hand on his arm.

“Sorry,” Hux apologises. “How are you feeling after that?”

“Fine,” Kylo responds immediately, an automatic answer he’s developed since the accident.

“ _Right_ ,” Hux hums, obviously unconvinced, clearing his throat when the silence between them outstays its welcome. “What did you think of the plan to strike against the native rebels on Dumari Prime?”

“What’s the KR-unit?”

“Ah. Right. The _Knights of Ren_ unit. Ten individuals selected by yourself as the elite group amongst the First Order’s entire battalion. Six of your own Knights and four Stormtroopers with an acute sense of the Force, enough to set them above their comrades and for them to have skills that you deem superior enough to grant them a place beside you on the battlefield. You are, as a unit, unbeaten and unrivalled.”

Kylo feels a sense of pride welling inside of his chest, glad that his Knights are still with him and now loyal to Hux too.

“And the _yearly spring ball_?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Ren,” Hux says, rubbing his eyes. “I’ve been rather neglectful of you today, haven’t I? Indeed. It began as a simple anniversary feast for you and I during our first year of reign but somehow turned into an annual event. A rather glamorous spectacle. Planning it is half the fun.”

As Hux speaks, he absently twists his wedding band around his finger, smoothing it around the width of his white-gloved finger, making the light catch the shine of the red crystal at its centre, enchanting Kylo to stare deeper, making him wonder where _his_ wedding ring is since he took it off and forced it into Hux’s palm almost two weeks ago now—

“Ren? You’re distracted,” Hux says. “Talk to me.”

Kylo debates melting into Hux’s arms for a brief second; the chance to just allow his knees to give out from the pressure he constantly feels in his limbs, the unbearable strain of _not knowing who he is,_ as though everything is behind a brick wall that he can’t scale. But instead, he pushes away his feelings, not knowing how to bring them forth in any way other than angry tears, and shrugs his shoulders.

“I…I’m fine, Hux.”

“I see.” Hux nudges Kylo’s hand with his own and gestures towards the door. “Come on. Dinner will be ready for us shortly.”

///////////////////////

Their evening plays out in almost exactly the same way as their previous ones have; with Kylo initiating a topic of conversation about something he wishes to know more about and Hux being unable to stop himself from explaining _every_ detail about it. Both dressed in their casual attire—Kylo in his dark grey sweatpants & black hoodie, with Hux wearing soft black leggings and white button-up shirt—they sit and eat in an uncomfortable silence until one of them finally speaks.

This evening, Kylo asks about their wedding.

Hux gasps, obviously taken aback by Kylo’s request, proceeding to choke on his mouthful of orange juice. He coughs, covering his mouth with his hand as his cheeks turn a burning shade of red from his shock. Kylo flinches as soon as Hux begins to cough, surprised by his own reflexes to reach his hand worriedly towards Hux, though he recoils as soon as he realises what he’s doing and pulls his hand away, afraid.

“ _Ren_ ,” Hux says softly, dabbing a napkin over his lips before clearing his throat. “I’m not sure whether talking about that is a good idea.”

“Why not?” Kylo replies, pushing his empty dinner plate away from him.

“ _Well_ ,” Hux hesitates. “You’re…not that man anymore, are you? You’ve said so yourself. It’s all very well talking about the battles you’ve conquered because you’re still a _warrior._ But you don’t… _feel_ that way about me anymore. I’d say we’re friends now more than bondmates.”

The sharp sadness in Hux’s tone is like a thousand daggers piercing Kylo’s chest, making him ooze _guilt,_ like a knife is twisting in his gut. They stare at each other from across the length of the small table, both _afraid_ of what the other is thinking, both seemingly terrified of the stranger sat opposite them. Kylo fidgets in his seat, sitting back, eyes downcast at his the finger where his wedding ring should be, and the pained struggling of their muted bond is all the encouragement Kylo needs to step up.

“I don’t want to be friends,” Kylo mutters, and feels Hux’s eyes on him. “I _want_ to remember what we were. Tell me about our wedding, Hux. _Please._ ”

He looks up slowly, seeing Hux staring back at him with wide eyes, lips pursed together in a pitying frown.

“You mean that, don’t you? About wanting to know what we were like before your accident,” Hux says. “I can _feel_ it.”

“ _I mean it,_ ” Kylo echoes. He rests his elbows on the table and pushes the heels of his hands against his temples, gritting his teeth, voice becoming angered as he becomes frustrated with himself. “I know that it’s the biggest part of me that’s missing. I feel empty when I’m not with you—I can _feel_ you missing me and it’s destroying me because _I don’t know what to do._ You held me and let me feel your claim mark when I lost myself because _you know me_ but I can’t help your suffering, Hux. Not unless I know _everything_ about our relationship. _Please tell me.”_

Kylo doesn’t hear Hux rise from his chair and make his way around the table to slide his palm soothingly across Kylo’s tense shoulders. He flinches, looking up at Hux—at his _omega—_ and finds a strange peacefulness in his pale eyes.

“It’d be better if I showed you,” Hux says. “Come on.”

Kylo frowns but nevertheless stands up and follows Hux out of their dining room into their living room, sitting down on the plush leather sofa when his mate gestures for him to.

_‘Show me?’_ Kylo thinks as he carefully watches Hux bustle around the room, wondering what he could possibly mean. Only when Hux pulls a red and gold memory stick from a hidden and locked compartment in the back of his luscious drinks cabinet does Kylo put the pieces together.

Their wedding video.

Hux goes to the large, mounted screen on the wall opposite the sofa and tentatively inserts the memory stick into the side, grabbing a circular remote control before sitting down next to Kylo, his breath heavy and quickened. Kylo stiffens when the screen brightens, almost regretting his decision. Is it going to be too much for him to handle? Seeing _himself_ on-screen, doing things he doesn’t remember, acting in ways that feel _wrong_ to him?

“We don’t have to do this,” Hux says to him, but Kylo’s gaze stays on the screen. “I can turn it off.”

“No,” Kylo replies, exhaling slowly though his nose. “I want to see this.”

_‘I **need** to.’_

And before he can brace himself, Hux presses play, and the video begins, filling the silence of the room with gentle piano music as a panning shot of their shining palace consumes the screen. Kylo watches with eager but terrified eyes, not wanting to miss a moment of the biggest day of his life but simultaneously afraid of seeing it.

It gives a sweeping view of their gardens and of the cloudless blue sky above their palace, showing the perfect look at where their marriage ceremony is going to be held. The scene changes with a fading transition, taking Kylo into their home and giving glimpses of servers and organisers adding the final decorative touches to the throne room with flowers and bunting, all sticking to the red and gold theme.

“We argued about the colour scheme,” Hux whispers, and Kylo can’t help but smile at the thought of the two of them bickering over flower samples. “I wanted _just_ gold, you wanted red and silver. We compromised.”

Of all the people he’s known—and fought with—in his life, Kylo would have thought that the last person he’d ever choose to compromise with would be Hux—though, he also would have thought that he’d never _marry_ him, but as he turns his gaze back to the screen and sees dramatic shots of Hux with his back to the camera, staring up at his hanging suit, dressed only in his sweatpants and undershirt. The image fades into another, and Kylo’s breath hitches, seeing _himself_ on screen for the first time. He’s stood in the exact same position as Hux, but Kylo can see that his hair is shorter in the video than it is now, thicker and wavier too.

“You said you wanted your hair cut for the big day,” Hux says, pointing to the screen. “I’m not sure why. I like it longer.”

Kylo doesn’t comment, continuing to watch with a heavy heart.

The video shows the two of them getting dressed in their respective suits. Hux’s is pure white with gold trims and buttons, and it’s Dopheld Mitaka, the familiar, timid beta, who steps into the scene, helping his Emperor before lowering his precious laurel leaf crown onto his head, a few stray ginger hairs covering the shining metal. It’s Phasma who’s helping Kylo with his clothes; black robes that look similar to the ones he wore before Starkiller’s destruction, only with gold embellishments and a long black cape, like the Emperor’s very own shadow. The screen splits down the middle and the couple turn to face the camera, both now dressed in their formal attire with their claim marks on show for all to see. Both marks look bolder than they do now, obviously newer then, like blooming bruises on the left side of their necks over their respective scent glands; having them on display like this is controversial, to say the least.

“We decided not to cover our marks,” Hux says. “I know it’s tradition that the claiming and bonding happens on the wedding night but ours happened during one of my heats.”

“We married _after_ I claimed you?”

Hux nods, laughing. “Unconventional, I know. But it seems you that you just couldn’t wait to put your claim on me. And I, on you.”

“So it would seem,” Kylo mutters, transfixed by the screen. He shifts on the couch and exhales slowly, struggling with the emotion he can see in the face of his on-screen counterpart: the _happiness._

“The ceremony was beautiful,” Hux says dreamily, and Kylo even doubts whether Hux knows he’s speaking aloud. “You looked so handsome.”

Feeling himself blush, Kylo tries to discreetly cover one of his cheeks with his palm, but he wouldn’t do anything to hide the growing bloom inside his chest as he watches the camera pan over the entirety of the throne room, seeing the rows of seats filled with hundreds of people, an officiant stood facing the crowd and a glorious dark-haired figure in black standing at the top of the aisle, facing away from the masses but turns slowly when the large double-doors at the opposite end of the room open slowly and a chorus of majestic violins and angelic harmonies are introduced to the musical accompaniment as the Emperor himself begins to walk down the aisle.

A vision in white, Hux is breath-taking. A form-fitting mandarin shirt with cropped forearms adorns his slim top-half, and golden swirls enrich the fabric, its collar folded down to reveal the pale skin of his neck. At the bottom of his white trousers are a pair of hand-crafted black leather boots that rise up his calves and make that familiar soft heel-click sound against the long red carpet that runs down the wide aisle. The laurel-leaf crown may sit proudly but a white veil is clipped into the hair at the back of his head, covering all of Hux’s face, cascading down past his chest to gather around his middle, just above where he’s holding his bouquet of red and black roses. Stormtroopers flank him though their white armour is decorated with thin swirling lines of red and gold paint that cascades down the whole of their bodies, flowers etched on their armour. The crowds of people in their seats stand, lowering their heads to Hux as he passes them but some cannot, too in awe of the omega’s beauty.

Kylo fixates on the Hux once he arrives at the top of the aisle, watching with held breath, imagining what it would have looked like through his own eyes, if he could only remember. He would’ve kept his eyes straight ahead, focussing only on his Emperor, on the man that he’s going to get to call his _husband_ , taking in the majesty of his uniform and crown and the beauty of his pale face and bright hair, and a blinding white light—

Kylo blinks, darkness then an overbearing light, groaning as his head pounds.

_There aren’t many moments in Kylo’s turbulent life that he has found himself speechless but standing opposite his beautiful mate and imminent husband-to-be is one of them._

_Hux had shooed his lover out of their bedchambers on numerous occasions, claiming that an old Arkanian tradition states that the alpha seeing the omega’s wedding attire before the big day brings bad luck on their joining, but Kylo hadn’t expected it to be worth the wait. The omega’s suit is astounding, fitting his slim waist but moderately-sized hips in such a heavenly manner that Kylo makes a mental note to ask his lover if he’d keep it on in the honeymoon suite tonight. His veil adds that extra bit of tradition to their ceremony, as does the exceedingly long cape that extends almost the length of the aisle, covering the red carpet, but Hux had wanted grandeur for this wedding and Kylo was only happy to give it to him._

_But the biggest shock of all comes when Kylo glances up to Hux’s face, looking through the veil to see shimmering, glittery eyeshadow sitting upon his lids, an ombré of gold to red flowing across his skin. With the added glisten of a clear gloss across his lips, Hux is the most beautiful creature that Kylo has ever seen, comparing him to the angels that he’s heard deep space pirates talk about._

_“You look…” Kylo whispers, taking his mate’s hand and aiding him up the small set of steps that lead up to where the officiant stands, their pair of ornate thrones just behind them._

_“Welcome to all,” the old officiant announces, his voice echoing throughout the grand room. “Friends, visitors, supporters. I have blessings from Emperor Hux and Supreme Leader Ren to thank you all for being here to witness their marriage. Let us begin by—”_

_The officiant rambles a little but Kylo doesn’t care; all the more time he has to stare at his magnificent mate. He casts his mind back to their first meeting, their first argument, their first kiss and their first night together, all whilst thanking his stars for putting Armitage Hux into his life._

_“Stop staring,” Hux whispers, trying not to move his lips, but unable to fight his smile. “And listen.”_

_“I can’t help it,” Kylo smiles. “I just want to be yours.”_

_“Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren and ruler of the First Order,” the officiant says, pulling Kylo from his thoughts. “Do you take Armitage Hux to be your lawfully wedded husband? Do you promise to cherish him? To stand beside him through all of his challenges? To respect, comfort and hold him for the rest of your lives? To be a loyal and benevolent mate until the day your bond may sever?”_

_“I do,” Kylo says. Hux is beaming beneath his veil._

_“And Emperor Armitage Hux, conqueror of Arkanis and ruler of the First Order.  Do you take Kylo Ren to be your lawfully wedded husband? Do you promise to cherish him? To stand beside him through all of his challenges? To respect, comfort and hold him for the rest of your lives? To be a loyal and benevolent mate until the day your bond may sever?”_

_“I do,” Hux says, and their bond erupts into fireworks._

_Captain Phasma steps forward with their rings resting upon a royal red cushion, kneeling to present them to her two leaders—her two friends. They both take the other’s ring, the only difference being that Kylo’s is larger in size than Hux’s. Fashioned from the galaxy’s strongest metal, Kylo had created these rings himself, pouring everything he is into their creation, etching the black circle around the middle of the shining silver, leaving a space to fuse a tiny part of his old kyber crystal into the middle, an identical piece preserved for the other ring._

_And now, as Kylo is about to slide the ring onto Hux’s finger, knowing that there has never been nor ever will be a ring that’s remotely similar to theirs, just as there’ll never be anyone as bright, beautiful and bold as Armitage Hux._

_“I give you this ring as a sign of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have,” they say, rings now on their fingers, making promises to never remove them._

_“Emperor, Supreme Leader, omega and alpha, mates in body, mind and soul. You have given your vows and your rings. It is time to solidify your marriage with a demonstration of physical commitment to your partner. You may kiss your mate.”_

_Only now does Kylo realise that his hands are shaking, trembling as he moves to lift Hux’s veil back to reveal his face. The netting falls into place at the back of Hux’s head, cascading down over his shoulders, and there are a few enamoured murmurs from the congregation as they finally see the omega’s dazzling make-up. He blinks, fluttering those long eyelashes at his lover, beckoning him forth; Kylo’s knees feel weak. He leans in, finally, slowly, as Hux cranes his neck upwards to allow his lover access to his neck, to his claim mark. Kylo’s kiss is gentle, a mere press of his lips to the bruised, scarred skin of the omega’s throat, content when Hux sighs at the action. When Kylo pulls away, Hux’s eyes seem a little glazed, overcome with emotion that’s pouring through their bond but the omega manages to compose himself when it’s his turn to kiss Kylo’s mark, stretching the limits of what is considered socially acceptable as he discreetly licks Kylo’s throat, sucking softly with his open mouth._

_“Devil,” Kylo whispers, suppressing a groan, feeling the omega smile against his skin._

_The officiator closes his book and takes a step away from the mated pair, smiling with fondness as he addresses the guests for the final time, “_ _The couple have announced the truths that are already written in your hearts, by the power vested in me, I am proud to announce them as wed. Congratulations!”_

_As the room erupts into applause, Kylo allows his gaze to linger on his mate, his husband, and moves in for a kiss whilst thinking of their glorious future together—_

“Ren? Ren, gods, say something, please!”

There’s a warm hand on his chest, another on his claim mark. Kylo opens his eyes slowly, immediately aware of the pounding behind them in his mind, and the presence of his beloved mate beside him.

“ _—ux?”_

“Yes, Ren, I’m here,” Hux is leaning over him, though Kylo doesn’t remember moving to lie down yet he’s staring up at the ceiling. “You went silent and passed out for a moment. Should I call the medics? Do you feel alright?”

“I’m—” Kylo stops himself. He presses his palm against his forehead as he sits up, swinging his legs over the side of the couch, his tired mind trying to make sense of it all. “Hux. _I do._ ”

“Oh, good. I’m glad, I was so afraid that you’d—.”

“ _No._ ” Kylo grabs Hux’s hand as he’s about to stand and walk away. “I do.”

Hux draws in a sharp breath as he turns to look at Kylo, his pale eyes already brimming with tears, his cheeks blushing.

“ _Kylo?”_ Hux exhales, as though the word has been freed from his throat after being trapped.

“I remember, Hux,” Kylo says. “I remember the wedding. _I remember!_ ”

The next breath that Hux draws is the sound of a suppressed sob as he flings his arms around Kylo’s shoulders, hugging him so tightly that Kylo swears he can feel Hux’s rapid heartbeat against his own chest. Their bond is almost bursting at the seams as Kylo tilts his head to bury his face in Hux’s neck, feeling his mind explode into colourful fireworks, painting their way across his entire consciousness like a vibrant kaleidoscope.

“Will you let me—I mean, can I kiss you?” Hux asks. He pulls away from the embrace, voice filled with doubt, smoothing his thumb across the top of Kylo’s hand.

“Yes,” Kylo replies without hesitation. “ _Please.”_

Kylo isn’t sure what he’s feeling right now but he’s _sure_ that Hux is feeling just as overwhelmed with fervour as he is as their lips crash together in the most passion-fuelled kiss that Kylo has ever felt. He slides his arms around Hux’s waist, pulling him closer out of instinct, somehow feeling _right_ with Hux’s body so close to his own. Something has changed within Kylo; it’s as though the light that he feels has somehow embedded itself more deeply inside of him and it only growing brighter as he pulls Hux closer to him. Kylo’s hands slide down Hux’s arms to hold his hands, and he feels something _click_ inside of him, as though a puzzle piece has been found and is well on the way to completing the whole picture. Kylo pulls away from the kiss first, just in time to see a single tear fall from Hux’s eye.

A happy tear, the muted bond tells him, and the first of many.  

“Do you, uh, still have my wedding ring?” Kylo asks, looking down to where it would sit on his finger.

“Of course,” Hux smiles through his tears. “Do you want—”

“Yes. Please.”

Hux hurries from the soft into their bedchambers, coming back with a perfectly small black box in his hands, opening it to reveal Kylo’s shining wedding ring resting upon a tiny velvet cushion, waiting for the day its owner would want it back.

“No,” Hux says, when Kylo reaches for the glistening piece. “Please. Let me.”

And a mirror of their ceremony, the pair lock gazes as Hux slides the ring home, a smile on Kylo’s lips as though promising to never remove it again.

//////////////////

Deciding to make two leaps in the same day, Kylo accepts Hux’s offer to sleep in the same bed.

“ _Just_ sleep,” Hux reiterates, emerging from the refresher wearing a pair of tartan pyjamas; a blue, green and red criss-crossing pattern on his long sleeved shirt and baggy trousers, hair tousled and head free of his crown. “If it’s too much too soon then I’d rather you say so.”

Kylo even finds himself blushing at the thought of doing _more._

“It’s _fine_ , Hux. I know,” Kylo says with an upbeat tone. “Just sleeping.”

“Right.”

Their bed is just as grand as everything else in the palace. A four-poster bed sits among the extravagant artwork that’s mounted on the walls, depicting epic space battles and stunning landscapes. The bed itself is pushed back to the wall with white, lace drapes hanging from it, something Kylo is certain he’s seen in a holo-period-drama. Luscious black sheets adorn the soft mattress, Kylo watches as Hux peels the covers back and plumps up the pillows for them before stilling awkwardly, standing on the opposite side of the bed to Kylo, Hux on the left and Kylo on the right, both in their sleeping attire, both waiting for _something_ to cue them to get into bed. It’s a little awkward, Kylo thinks, as Hux makes the first move, his pale limbs sliding underneath the dark covers lying flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling.

“You look like you’re in a coffin,” Kylo says with a quiet chuckle, climbing in beside him, lying on his side but becomes almost as rigid as Hux ones he’s settled.

“Hypocrite,” Hux says, turning over to face Kylo, the overhead lights dim and their chambers silent.

Even in the low light, Kylo thinks that Hux’s hair _glows,_ still giving him that regal aura that he seems to constantly radiate. His cheekbones somehow look even _sharper_ against the stark black of his pillow, his ginger eyelashes fluttering like the rarest of butterflies as he holds Kylo’s gaze. Even when fatigued, Kylo muses, Hux is still beautiful _._

But suddenly, Hux’s datapad beeps from its place on the bedside drawer, buzzing loudly and disrupting their moment.

“Is that that Doctor _again?”_ Kylo huffs.

“Doctor Komine, yes. It would seem so,” Hux says, reaching to reach the message. “He just wants to remind me that I have an appointment with him tomorrow afternoon. He takes his job as royal physician very seriously, Ren. Perhaps…perhaps you can come to the appointment with me.”

“Sure,” Kylo says, silently wanting to meet the interfering medic and intimidate him.

“Thank you.”

“What now?” Kylo asks, pulling the sheets over himself more, self-conscious.

“You…used to hug me from behind,” Hux says quietly. “That’s how we slept.”

“Do—do you want me to do that now _?”_

_“_ It’s up to you,” Hux replies with a slight shrug. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. You’re still recovering, still new to this sort of thing. Besides, my growing belly may get in the way.”

“ _Hux._ I’ve said it’s fine.”

“Er, right.”

Hux turns over onto his side slowly, his shoulders tense as he obviously waits for Kylo to _hold_ him, body anticipating the disappointment. But Kylo swallows his anxiousness, keeping the image of himself and Hux standing at the top of the aisle at the forefront of his mind, wanting it to drive his recovery until he regains all of the memories that he’s lost.

He shuffles closer to Hux, eyeing the freckles that he can see from the low neck of his shirt, the freckles that seemingly cascade across the top of his neck like stardust and, absently, Kylo admires his _husband’s_ glorious freckled skin; he imagines a light spritz of little freckles dotting Hux’s figure, some cascading over the soft contours of his bones, of the curves of his lithe and beautiful body. Kylo even finds that he wants to kiss every single one of them, each touch an apology for ever rejecting him.

Carefully, as though Hux is made of glass, Kylo presses his chest against Hux’s back, hearing him exhale in a shuddering breath, his apprehension melting away with the rest of his body as he relaxes against Kylo. His arm slides over the sharp curve of Hux’s hip, his fingertips gliding up the soft material of Hux’s sleepshirt before finding Hux’s hand open and waiting for them to reconnect, their entwined hands resting upon Hux’s clothed hip. Their fingers link together, and for the first time since his accident, Kylo feels truly content.

“Is this…okay?” Kylo asks, breath warm on the back of Hux’s neck.

“Mm,” Hux hums quietly, already sounding as though he’s on the verge of sleep. “It’s perfect.”

Kylo smiles. “Good.”

Just as Kylo thinks that Hux has drifted off, he hears the omega sigh and shiver.

“Ren,” Hux breathes. “There’s something I’ve got to tell you. Something I should have told you the moment you woke.”

“What is it?” Kylo frowns, puzzled by the apprehension in his mate’s voice, suddenly.

“I…I’m—. I’m so in love with you.” Hux says. “And I don’t expect you to say it back but I just wanted you to know that. Despite of how you may feel and what person you feel you are now and if you decide to keep our bond closed, I’ll always love you.”

Kylo closes his eyes, leaning his forehead against the back of Hux’s head. A wave of guilt washes over him again but their muted bond seems to seep with something unfamiliar, making Kylo scrunch his eyes together to stop the uncomfortable feeling.

“Thank you,” he mutters, brave enough to place a kiss at the nape of Hux’s neck, still enamoured by the omega’s enticing scent.

“Goodnight, Kylo. Sleep well,” Hux says, bringing Kylo’s hand up to his mouth to give his knuckles a gentle kiss.

“’Night, Hux. You too.”

Upon Hux’s command, the light turn themselves off and their bedroom is plunged into darkness, the only light being from the planet’s moon outside, shining in through a tiny gap in the red curtains. Kylo closes his eyes slowly, calmed by the sounds of Hux’s quiet breaths, and hopes for pleasant dreams.

  _“Ren, your hands are freezing!”_

_Hux flails and pulls his grey tshirt back down over his stomach, shuffling away from Kylo’s prying hands, which linger awkwardly in the air. He even gives his alpha a playful kick as he moves backwards for extra warning to keep his cold hands to himself. Hux gives an exaggerated shiver, nestling back against the headboard of their bed, giving Kylo a scowl in response._

_“I’m trying to sense her,” Kylo says with a huff, shuffling up the length of their large bed, following his mate._

_Hux scoffs, setting his datapad down. “ **Her**? Ren, it’s no bigger than a lime right now.”_

_Kylo hums in agreement, “I know we won’t be able to tell for another few weeks but I can already feel her trying to reach out to me.”_

_Rubbing his hands together for warmth, Kylo sits cross-legged in front of his reclined lover, slowly brushing his fingers underneath the hem of Hux’s shirt, clearly refusing to wait for approval and seeking the tiny bump of his pregnant stomach to feel. Hux grits his teeth, still feeling the chill from Kylo’s fingertips, but he says nothing, enjoying the expression on his alpha’s face._

_“Can you…hear it?” Hux asks, rubbing the top of his bump idly._

_“Not exactly,” Kylo whispers, resting his cheek on Hux’s belly. “It’s like…background noise. Nothing coherent, just there. She’s trying.”_

_“Stop saying ‘she’,” Hux retorts, giving Kylo’s hair a rough rub, messing up his slack curls._

_Kylo sits up and cocks his head at Hux._

_“Why? I thought you wanted to know the baby’s sex.”_

_“I do, when the time comes, instead of you taking a 50/50 guess when its nowhere near developed yet. I’m only 11 weeks along,” Hux replies, lifting his shirt completely, rubbing his hands over his mostly flat stomach. “But I…I think it’s a boy.”_

_With fond eyes, Kylo watches as Hux looks down at the soft curve, both of them desperate for the next seven months to fly over so they can meet their pup. Through their bond, Kylo can feel Hux imagining himself holding a baby boy, head full of dark hair, eyes as bright as the suns that’ll bow before the might of the Hux-Ren heir._

_“I think it’s a girl,” Kylo says, placing his hands over Hux’s. “Her mind is already fierce, her kicks will be hard. Only a warrior princess would be so bold.”_

_Kylo reaches up to Hux, brushing two of his fingers against Hux’s temple, sending him joyful images of their potential baby girl, red hair atop her head, eyes as dark as the nights that’ll strike fear into civilian’s hearts when they think of the daughter of Hux-Ren._

_Hux chuckles, his heart warming at the thought of his oh-so savage knight being so gentle with their pup._

_“Do you want it to be a girl?” Hux asks._

_“No. I want it to be healthy,” Kylo says, pulling his hand away from Hux’s face, settling his cheek back against his pregnant belly. “I just have a feeling—a strong feeling—that she’s a girl.”_

_“Me too. Want it to be healthy, I mean,” Hux replies. “But you forget, Ren. I am the one who’s carrying it and I know he’s a boy.”_

_Kylo laughs, “We’ll see, Emperor. We’ll see.”_

Their bedchambers are still bathed in darkness when Kylo wakes, blinking hard against the shadowy grip of sleep to try to understand what he’s just seen. Was it a memory? A vision of the future? The emotions feel real as though it was a fragment of memory returning to him but it can’t be, because Hux, _his_ Hux, isn’t pregnant.

But then there’s static, background noise in his mind that he took no notice of before, thinking that it’s just the thrumming of his muted bond but it’s more than that now as he concentrates on it and tries to discern the sounds in his mind. Hux is sleeping soundly beside him, lying flat on his back, head lolled to one side, with a stray piece of soft, copper hair resting upon his forehead. He looks at peace, like a sleeping prince destined only to be awakened by true love’s kiss but Kylo’s fantasy soon disappears when he realises that his hand is resting atop Hux’s stomach, and there’s a distinct flutter in his fingertips as though something is _there_ in the Force, trying to make itself know.

Kylo swallows hard, moving his hand across Hux’s skin, stroking the arch of his belly to try to make sense of what his mind is telling him is true but his heart is telling him it can’t be; Hux would have told him about it _surely,_ unless Hux himself doesn’t know—

No. The fruit juice, the nagging doctors, the baggy clothes, the comments about his weight gain. The small bump of Hux’s belly, barely noticeable to those who aren’t looking, is not a result of an unhealthy diet, of lack of exercise. He’s pregnant, carrying Kylo’s pup.

_Hux is pregnant, and he’s lied to Kylo about it._

The world feels like it’s on fire again, a messy blur of turmoil that feels familiar as though he’s waking up in an unknown place again next to someone he doesn’t know. Why would his mate lie to him about their pup? Unless Hux isn’t planning on keeping it. Kylo is shaking, shoulders sagged as he pushes himself up to sit, hand still on the curve of the omega’s stomach.

“ _Mmm,”_ Hux sighs gently in his sleep, eyelashes flutters as he wakes. He stretches as he comes around to consciousness, blinking in the moonlight. “Ren? My love, what time is it?”

“You’re pregnant,” Kylo says, tone low, bordering on his _alpha voice._ “Aren’t you?”

Hux’s expression drops, all colour drains from his cheeks. Kylo feels the panic seep through their bond, regretting keeping it quiet in his mind for so long; perhaps if it had been open and blooming, he would have sensed the baby sooner.

“I…”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I haven’t,” Hux shakes his head, reaching to put his hand atop Kylo’s on his belly but the latter pulls away, recoiling as though burned. “I would never.”

“You _knew_ you were pregnant and you didn’t tell me. You told me it was weight gain, that the juices you were drinking were for your diet. You deceived me.”

“ _No,_ no, Ren,” Hux shakes his head, panicking. “I didn’t know what telling you about the pup would do to you. You know what happened when I told you about Skywalker!”

“That’s different _!_ The man I have loathed and chased after for revenge for _years_ suddenly being dead as a result of _my_ actions is _completely_ different than finding out that my mate is pregnant with our first pup.”

“I still didn’t want to risk pushing you away from me!”

“ _You lied!”_

“Fine!” Hux grits his teeth, kicking the sheets away from his body. Now, his pregnant bump is obvious to Kylo’s eyes. “I’m sorry for keeping this from you, Kylo. I was going to tell you, I promise, but I was afraid that it would compromise you!”

The dust seems to settle, Hux sat up in bed whilst Kylo kneels on the edge, both fearful to look the other in the eye.

“What else have you kept from me?” Kylo asks, finally, looking up through his curtain of fallen hair.

“What? Nothing!”

“But lying to me came so naturally to you. What else have you lied to me about? Is Rey really my cousin? Was is by _my hand_ that caused Skywalker to die? Or are you selecting what you tell me to _mould_ me into your weapon like everyone else in my life has?”

“Ren!” Hux hyperventilates, one hand on his belly at all times. “Ren, you’re being ridiculous. I kept the baby from you to protect you! Everything else I’ve told you is true, I swear to you, I promise—”

Kylo pulls away from Hux when he reaches out to him, feeling a hollowness in his chest that wasn’t there before. He thought everything was fixed, he thought his memories and Hux’s actions had proved to him that his mate was true, but everything has come crashing down twice as hard. In the end, everyone lies to him.

“I have to go,” Kylo stands abruptly, chest tightening with panic and an overwhelming sadness.

“Where? Kylo, please don’t leave.”

“No, _no._ I have to be away from you,” Kylo says, almost in a trance-like state, pulling his boots on and his favourite hooded cloak on over his baggy shirt. “I can’t even look at you. How _could_ you keep this from me? _Lie_ to me? I trusted you, I thought you were different! I thought you loved me.”

Ben Solo has said those words before, whispered to his mother when she sent him off to Luke, holding onto her hand and refusing to let go. ‘ _I thought you loved me’_ broke Ben’s heart then, it shatters Kylo’s world now. He pulls his wedding band off slowly, ignoring the screams inside his mind that seem agonised at its removal. It drops to the floor, clanging as though it weighs a tonne.

“No, Ren! I do love you, don’t go, don’t leave—! Kylo!”

But Kylo has already gone, storming out of their chambers before his loud mind can convince him to turn back to his mate and see what this is doing to him. In a home he barely knows, he wanders, lights popping out and exploding as he passes, so wrought with grief and betrayal that he feels his heart has been ripped out, wrung out and stuffed back inside his rib cage, now ruined and drained of every emotion it once held. He keeps walking, keeps his head down, tearing through the palace in his anger until he finds himself outside in the midnight drizzle, running down the small set of steps and into the gardens to disappear.

Kylo curses himself; he should have known that he doesn’t deserve happiness _._

//////////////////

As the rain of the quiet Lisuune night begins to fall harder against the window panes of the royal bedchambers, Emperor Hux matches their unyielding torrents with his own tears, flooding down his face as he rests on the edge of the bed, sobbing into his hands. Everything is the shade of grey _,_ cold and alone. His chest feels strangely empty, as though something has been ripped away from him, leaving a dark void in its place.

How could this have happened? At dinner, after watching their wedding tape, Hux is certain he could have leapt off of the balcony and flew out into the sky because of how elated he felt at Kylo’s progress, feeling like the nightmare he’s been calling reality has finally dissolved into a dream, one where Kylo remembers him and _loves_ him.

And yet, here he sits, crying in an empty bed, apologising to his unborn pup for ruining their family before it’s even become one.

“Emperor?”

Like a switch has been flicked, Hux growls and reaches for the blaster he keeps under his and Kylo’s pillows, gritting his teeth as he aims it as the door, ready to shoot the brains out of whoever has chosen this moment to enter his chambers without permission. But Doctor Komine is treading carefully, hands raised in defence, his blue eyes shining behind his round-framed glasses.

“Oh. Doctor, it’s you,” Hux says, lowering his blaster. “Forgive me, I thought it was an intruder.”

“No, no, my liege. Forgive _me,_ ” Komine says, stepping closer to the weeping omega. “I was making my way from Captain Mitaka’s chambers—he’s been having issues keeping food down—when I saw the Supreme Leader fleeing into the gardens in a terribly angered state. I rushed up here as quickly as I could to check on you.”

Hux sighs, wiping his eyes. “You are a loyal man, Celestyn and I thank you for that but I’d rather be alone right now. I’ll see you tomorrow for our appointment.”

But the doctor does not move. The beta stays put, swaying his weight from heel to toe, holding his hands behind his back.

“Again, forgive me, Emperor, but I do not believe you should be alone right now. I am not just a doctor of the body, you know. I am familiar with some psychological practices. Perhaps talking about what ails you and your mate may help you.”

Hux sniffles, standing up from the bed, only now realising the height difference between Komine and himself; it may only be mere inches like it is with Kylo and himself but up against an unwanted presence, two inches seems like ten.

“I said I’d like to be alone, Doctor Komine.” Hux stands tall, clenching his fists by his side, refusing to be belittled by a beta.

“That _brute_ has left you in a distressed state,” Komine says, shaking his head, seemingly ignoring Hux’s words. “What sort of alpha does that to their mate?”

“And you’re an expert on alphas, I suppose, too, Komine.”

Komine laughs, lowering his head, pushing his glasses back up his thin nose before raising his head, and the twinkle in his eyes sets Hux’s omegan instincts alight.

“My dear Emperor,” Komine says, stepping forward, making Hux step back. “I _am_ an alpha.”

Hux’s stomach flips over, his mind screaming for Kylo to come back but knows his mate won’t answer him now. He’s alone.

“ _No,_ that isn’t true,” Hux argues. “No alpha can be part of the royal medical team. It’s against the First Order’s protocol—”

“A step I had to take to get close to you again,” Komine says, making a grab for Hux’s dormant blaster before the latter can scramble to it. “Forgive me for deceiving you.”

“ _Again?”_

The back of Hux’s legs hit the bed and he falls onto it, sitting up whilst Komine drops to his knees in front of him, head bowed slightly.

“I served as a medic on board the _Finalizer_ whilst you were General. Your speech on Starkiller Base awoke something in me that I thought myself incapable of doing. _Love._ I knew you were to be mine. I followed you, disguised myself as a beta but the time I got close enough to you, Kylo Ren had already put his dirty claim on you.”

“And I claimed _him._ I love _him._ ”

“Think of your pup, Emperor. Yes, I know you’re pregnant. If I weren’t so accustomed to your delicious scent then I wouldn’t have noticed the very slight change in it. But Master Ren, he failed to detect it, didn’t he? Your mate couldn’t even tell that you’re carrying his child. How… _disappointing._ ”

“Komine—”

“Please. Call me _Celestyn._ ”

“Celestyn. I’m flattered but this can’t go any further. I’m mated, claimed, _married._ Kylo Ren—”

“A brat and a brute and is in no way worthy of such a beautiful and bright omega like you. I mean you no harm, Armitage. I swear it.” Komine doesn’t react when Hux scowls at the use of his first name. “I won’t even ask you to get rid of Ren’s pup. I shall raise it with you, give you anything you wish. I don’t want power, just you. Just _be mine._ ”

Hux exhales slowly, finding his palm on his belly, a silent promise to his pup that he isn’t going to let any harm come to them, not today, not _ever._

“No, Celestyn. Kylo Ren is my alpha, my mate and my husband for life, until death do us part.”

But to Hux’s dismay, his rejection only seems to spur the alpha on further.

“I was hoping you’d say that.”

Komine moves swiftly, rising up on one knee, reaching his hand out and, before Hux can slap it away, the alpha is touching his claim mark, covering it with his palm, with his _ungloved skin._ Hux yelps, gasps, but goes rigid, his body put into a pliable state, one that he knows omegas cannot escape from once entered. The contact sends Hux dizzy; an alpha touching an omega’s claim mark without explicit permission is treason on some planets but where Hux comes from, it can only mean _one_ thing.

One dreaded, world-shattering thing.

“ _N-no. Kylo,”_ Hux breathes but his biology is submitting, going pliant underneath Komine’s touch. The alpha offers nothing but a toothy smile in return.

“I challenge Kylo Ren’s claim on you, Armitage Hux. A fight to the death for your beautiful hand. And I have a feeling that he isn’t going to fight for you. _You will be mine._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (¬‿¬) please don't hate me
> 
> Kylo, stop being a skeptical little shit and let Hux love you! I had Kylo react so badly to Hux keeping the baby a secret because _this_ Kylo isn't used to having someone look out for him or having someone who wants to protect him to he immediately thinks that everyone has an ulterior motive to them being nice to him, especially Hux who he's used to competing against. He hasn't been softened by Hux's love for 5 years like the pre-accident Kylo had, this one is still lonely and feels like everyone wants to use him! 
> 
> Also, Dr Celestyn Komine, secret bad guy all along! A bit of a stalker, yes. Totally has posters of General Hux in his bedroom and has posters of Kylo with a red cross across his face, like the literal opposite of Matt The Radar Technician. Also, my faceclaim for Dr Komine is Paul Bettany ([x](https://independenttalent-63a2.kxcdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/paul-bettany.png)) ([x](http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/37900000/Paul-Wallpaper-paul-bettany-37942338-3500-2688.jpg))
> 
> See you all next chapter! Thank you so much for reading! ❤️
> 
> My tumblr is [@solohux](http://solohux.tumblr.com/) ❤️
> 
> And I'm also on twitter now! Find me [@solohuxx](https://mobile.twitter.com/solohuxx) 💙


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EXTRA WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER
> 
> This chapter gets pretty violent. There's **blood** , **physical fighting** and **descriptions of injury**. Please be mindful of your triggers!
> 
> My faceclaim for Dr Komine is Paul Bettany, in case you're interested! ([x](https://independenttalent-63a2.kxcdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/paul-bettany.png)) ([x](http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/37900000/Paul-Wallpaper-paul-bettany-37942338-3500-2688.jpg))
> 
> ALSO art in this chapter has been created by the wonderful [@ellalba](https://ellalba.tumblr.com/). Thank you so much, darling! You're amazing! ❤️
> 
> Enjoy! Thank you for reading! ❤️
> 
>  
> 
> Otherwise, enjoy! ❤️

Celestyn Komine would describe himself as a man of simple pleasures. He has no desire for wealth, fame or power, just a good job with a mate beside him who loves and cherishes him, a mate who’ll give him pups to carry on his bloodline, someone who will think that he’s a god in a galaxy of foolish mortals. It’s what he dreamt of whilst completing his training in some of the grimiest hospitals in the Outer Rim; an alpha with the stereotypical quiet nature of a beta, helping people and saving lives. Granted, admitting privately under his breath after a couple of strong drinks, he’s worked in more hospitals than the average doctor, fleeing before questions would arise about an unnaturally high death rate amongst his patients but the galaxy needs order and stability, the weak and the feeble have no place in a society that demands strength and that’s what Komine strives for; organisation by his hand. He thinks of himself as a _god_ after all.

At 40 years old, he was still waiting for the galaxy to gift him with his perfect mate, dreaming every night of pale skin and long legs that would open only for him, his name being whispered in a clipped and clear voice as though it’s the only word that his mate knows. He’d expected his mate to come to him in the hospital setting, a fellow doctor or a nurse perhaps, a being of intelligence but with little capacity for mercy of the weak. They would be beautiful but cunning, someone he could envision making love to on a victorious battlefield. But it was on a war-torn planet named Tiansu that Doctor Komine first saw the man he knew was created to be his mate.

General Hux’s Starkiller speech was broadcast across the galaxy, a display of the First Order’s power and coldness, of their intolerance for the disorderly ways of the New Republic. His speech was the type where every soul would remember where they were when they bore witness to Hux’s grand speech and destruction of the Hosnian system upon Hux’s ruthless command. Komine remembers dropping his clipboard to the floor, pushing his round-framed glasses up his thin nose, stepping away from his deteriorating patient to walk slowly to the holoscreen across the other side of the hospital ward with his gaze locked on the image of the young General’s form atop the stage. His pale skin, his sparkling eyes, his lithe body—

Komine had lowered his glasses, overcome with emotion and such a raw neediness that tears began to fill his pale eyes. This was his one, this alpha (presumably _,_ judging by his confident and strong demeanour _)_ at the helm of the First Order was his one, his true mate. There could be no doubt, Komine’s destiny lay in the arms of this First Order General, the one they still call _The Starkiller._

With nothing else said, Komine had torn his stethoscope off from around his neck, tossing it aside and removing his white, surgical coat from his thin frame, walking out of the building and abandoning his post at Tiansu General Hospital at that very moment, marching out to his modified speeder _Chariot_ with only one thing on his mind; infiltrate the First Order and claim his One.

It was still the middle of the throes of winter on Tiansu but the treacherous terrain didn’t stop Komine from bolting home to his apartment block across the other side of the capital city, his mind focussed on the face of Armitage Hux, keeping it fresh in his mind, repeating the name over and over again whilst in his vehicle, wondering if Armitage could feel it too: their obvious, fated connection. 

He packed quickly, throwing what little items he owned into a large, black briefcase before adorning his favourite long, grey coat and black trilby before leaving his home and heading off-planet to the Bossar Space Station on the edge of No-Man’s space in the Outer Rim, a hub for old Imperial activity with direct links to the First Order’s recruitment program.

That was five years ago.

Getting inside the First Order was easier than Komine had expected. Disguised as a beta with scent blockers and special cologne that he purchased from the black market on the space station, he’d created a false personnel file for himself when offering his services to the illustrious _second Empire,_ conversing with the First Order officer in charge of recruitments, ensuring to convey his desperation to serve upon the _Finalizer,_ believing that his skills would be most useful upon the proud flagship. Even when he was told that there was an opening for a medic on the _Finalizer_ after the death of the last doctor as a result of Commander Ren’s temper, Komine wasn’t fazed. This _Ren_ character sounded like one of those hot-headed alphas that made Komine’s blood boil, ones that used their overbearing power to get what they wanted, dumb and foolish creatures who hadn’t an ounce of intelligence in their bodies but instead relied on their status to get what they wanted. The recruiter informed Komine that he would begin at the bottom of the ladder and make his way upwards despite his previous medical experience. It wasn’t an ideal situation to be thrust into but Armitage was there, and that’s all that mattered.

It was months until Komine was finally blessed with seeing Armitage in the flesh. The General had returned from a mission with a few cuts and scrapes, needing basic treatment and a few hypo treatments to ensure he was infection-free before resuming his post on the bridge.

Even as Komine stands in his chambers in the royal residence in the present moment, he remembers that day as clear as though it was only this morning. It’s burned inside his mind, sending a stirring through his chest as he recalls the way he’d entered the private room to see Armitage sat upon the examination table in nothing but his regulation briefs and a black undershirt. The wax-like colour of his skin, the elegant sprinkle of freckles across his shoulders and cheeks, the flaming copper shades that he held in his hair—Komine almost fell to his knees in that moment. All of his instincts were going into overdrive, telling him to claim the fellow alpha and promise him everything and anything he desired.

 _“If we could make this quick, Doctor,”_ Armitage had said, voice sending shivers across Komine’s skin, honoured to hear that clipped voice in person and not through holofilm or in his private dreams. Yes, yes, he is the _one_. _“I have a lot to catch up on.”_

 _“Of course, my General,”_ Komine bowed, cursing protocol for making him wear surgical gloves for Armitage’s exam. One day, Komine promised himself, he would touch this smooth and flawless skin and mark it with his own claim.

But even with the gloves on, being in such close proximity to his soulmate almost lulled Komine into a drugged-like state, feeling his mouth going dry and his stomach twisting. Armitage remained silent as Komine applied bacta to the wound on his upper arm and bandaged him.

 _“Tell me, General,”_ Komine said, cleaning a scrape on Hux’s cheek, staring at his beautiful lips. “ _How are you feeling?”_

_“Perfectly fine, thank you.”_

_“No dizziness? No nausea?”_

_“None.”_

Strange. Komine had expected Armitage to feel _something_ in the presence of his true mate. Perhaps he’s too late, perhaps a member of the High Command has already taken what is his, despite there being no claim mark on Armitage’s neck. It’d be possible for a mind-bond to have occurred. There had been rumours of Supreme Leader Snoke’s amazing skills with the Force, perhaps he had put a block on poor Armitage’s mind. He _must_ know.

“ _Would you like me to call someone to escort you to your chambers, sir? Your mate, perhaps?”_

 _“I have no mate,”_ Hux jumped off the table and began to dress himself. “ _And it is remaining that way. Surely you know yourself, Doctor, that alphas of our calibre cannot afford to be compromised by anything, certainly not a whining and needy mate. If that is all, then I shall be leaving. The droid will see to my file. Good day.”_

Armitage had left in such a hurry that Komine didn’t have a chance to tell him that they were meant to be. He recalls reaching out to call Armitage back but all words had seemed lost in his chest, grieved by his future-mate’s lacklustre reaction to him. At least he now knew why his mate hadn’t reacted in the same way as him upon their fated meeting; Armitage was blocking out his emotions. Clearly, one so tense and adamant that the ways of claiming and bonding aren’t for him will have no clue what it would _feel_ like to meet one’s soulmate.

He must wait, he must be patient, Armitage will be his in time—

He did not count on Kylo Ren _forcing_ himself onto his beloved Armitage.

The news of Armitage Hux and Kylo Ren’s mating had cut Komine deeper than anything else ever had before. Like a frozen blade to the chest, he remembers falling to his knees in his chambers when the couple announced their bonding and their plans to be wed, a deep and solid claim mark proudly present on Armitage’s neck, one on Ren’s in a mirror image to Armitage’s. An omega disguised as an alpha, the galaxy had quaked at Armitage Hux’s ascension to rule. The Starkiller and the Jedi Killer, mated, bonded and a claim on one another for all to see. Armitage had looked so happy when being crowned Emperor, sharing a kiss with his co-ruler and _alpha,_ Kylo Ren, that it made Komine sick to the stomach; clearly, Ren had some sort of mind-controlling power over his soulmate.

In a fit of both grief and rage, Komine had smashed everything in his chambers, tearing the posters of General Hux from where they hung all over his walls, crying out, smashing drinking glasses before calming down to apologise wholly and desperately to his ruined pictures, picking one up in his trembling hands to cradle it close to his chest. He’d lay on the floor for the duration of the night, curled up amongst dozens of ripped photos of his beloved Armitage.

At rock bottom, Komine had believed there was no way to rise. Yet, he followed Armitage to his royal palace, slowly making physicians _disappear_ under untraceable circumstances so he could rise to _head_ of the Emperor’s medical team, waiting in the wings for the right moment to do the same to Ren, the interfering brute. But luck, at last; the Supreme Leader was in an accident, his memories of the last five years lost and replaced with the once-cold and angry attitude towards Armitage; what better time to strike against him.

As drizzle begins to fall across the night sky of Lisuune, Doctor Komine lurks inside of his own private chambers, finishing his large glass of whiskey, rolling his shoulders as he waltzes around the room as though dancing with an invisible partner, eyes closed and dreaming of Armitage in his arms, beautiful and pliant. He dances his way over to where a giant portrait of the royal couple hangs proudly on his wall, an intricately-detailed painting of Emperor Hux and Supreme Leader Ren standing side-by-side in their wedding attire, stoic expressions on their faces that just ooze power.

“We’ll be together, Armitage,” Komine says, stroking his finger down Emperor Hux’s cheek, smoothing across the surface of the picture. “I’m here now, there’s no need to be afraid, my love. A little longer and you shall be mine forever.”

As Komine leans in to place a gentle kiss on the portrait’s cheek, the face of Supreme Leader Ren lies on the floor, shoddily cut out from the picture with a viroblade and cast aside, leaving Ren’s body headless in the portrait, a gap beside the Emperor, one that Komine is certain that he’s going to fill.

After all, the Supreme Leader is no longer the man he was, not the alpha who Armitage _claims_ to have fallen in love with. A fight to the death for Armitage’s hand has already been won, in Komine’s opinion, and all that remains to do is show Ren what a true alpha is.

 _If_ he even shows up to the duel.

//////////////////////

The twin moons of Lisuune have long disappeared behind dark clouds, sending the light drizzle into heavy deluge, drenching Kylo through to his skin. The wooden arbour does little to protect him against the rain, what with its lattice-design for a roof, but it gives him a bit of shelter against the predawn rainfall though his soaking wet clothes and his cold skin aren’t taking up any thinking space inside of his mind. His thoughts are going around and around in circles, conflicted; angry at Hux for keeping his pregnancy a secret but _a betrayal_ of excitement at the pup’s existence, hurt that Hux would lie to him but touched that someone would think of his feelings, his _health,_ and act accordingly. Conflicted, torn apart, again.

Kylo looks down to his left hand, to where his wedding band sat only hours ago as though never to be removed again. The ring seemed to thud so loudly onto the floor as he dropped it, the sound still echoes through Kylo’s chest like a deep bass drum, making him flinch against the vibration. The claim mark on his neck seems to be paining too, a stinging and sharp pain that Kylo doesn’t feel as though he’s ever felt before but he ignores it, giving it a harsh rub when he feels as though something—or someone—is touching it. His mind, too, is stirring. The dampened bond he shares with Hux seems to be more desperate than ever to be freed, pulsating like an open wound inside of his consciousness as Hux’s thoughts and feelings try to seep out into Kylo’s mind but he shuts them off, slamming his shields down and blocking whatever it is that Hux is trying to share with him.

It had all been going so well. Kylo was beginning to feel as though he was in tune with himself again, becoming the true Supreme Leader of the First Order and Hux’s true mate, not an empty shell of a man he supposedly was before the accident. He felt strong, he felt his confidence beginning to soar, he was so in love with Hux—

Kylo rubs his eyes, moving to cross his legs up on the seat of the arbour, wanting to curl in on himself and disappear completely. Not ‘ _was’,_ he corrects himself; he’s still in love with Hux. His mind is thrumming so loudly with thoughts of Hux, defending the omega’s actions and telling him to go back into the palace, pick his wedding ring up and apologise to Hux for overreacting, but there’s still that dark voice in the back of his mind, a voice that sounds a lot like Snoke’s, whispering to him that this is all a ploy on Hux’s part to tame him and control him just like everyone else has.

Perhaps, once upon a time, Hux _would_ have acted like that. He would have wrapped Kylo around his little finger given the opportunity—the _General Hux_ that Kylo recalls would have, certainly—but Emperor Hux is not that man, and Kylo is not the man he was when he begged Rey to join him. He thinks of his latest vision—his memory—of Hux trying to guess the sex of the baby, adamant that he’s carrying a boy but Kylo believing it’s a girl. He keeps that memory at the forefront of his mind, using it to drown out the dark voice in his mind.

He’s killed Snoke before, he’ll kill him again if it means accepting the truth about Hux’s deception; he did it because he loves him.

Flashes of chrome and red catch Kylo’s attention, drawing his gaze from the sodden ground to look across the luscious gardens, still illuminated by the partially cloud-covered twin moons and small solar lanterns dotted around the shrubbery. Phasma, flanked by two red stormtroopers, march towards where Kylo sits on the wooden arbour, each stride harder than the last. Something is wrong, Kylo thinks, even without seeing the fellow alpha’s face; he can sense it in her mind. In the past, Captain Phasma’s mind has been a pleasant one for Kylo to listen to, even when they were co-commanders of the _Finalizer,_ so organised and clean like her troopers’ barracks, so dissimilar to Hux’s mind whose outwardly appearance of order and coordination isn’t reflected inside of his messy and loud consciousness. It’s a nice change for Kylo but he’d give almost anything to be listening to Hux’s untidy mind right now, the latter still quashed behind his mental shields.

“Supreme Leader Ren,” Phasma says, standing straight. Her accompanying troopers halt one step behind her and bow to Kylo. He doesn’t acknowledge them, too troubled by Phasma’s shaky voice. “I have orders from the Emperor himself to summon you to the throne room immediately.”

The throne room? Kylo frowns. An odd place to be summoned to after a domestic argument but he doesn’t comment; it’s the formality of his Captain that unnerves him the most.

“What’s going on?” Kylo asks.

“There…” Phasma sighs, lifting to remove her helmet. In her eyes, Kylo sees worry and fear, though not for herself. “There’s been a challenge to your claim on Hux.”

As though the moons of his life have been swallowed whole by the darkest of clouds, Kylo’s world turns dark. His stomach ties itself in a knot though he swallows the need to dry-heave against the sensation. Chest on fire, Kylo grips the edge of the seat until the wood contorts underneath his fingertips. This is his punishment for taking his mate for granted, he thinks, standing from his seat with such anger that the entire arbour is knocked down, clattering to the ground as thunder rumbles in the alpha’s wake, striding through plant beds to get to the palace door.

“Supreme Leader, wait! I insist,” Phasma says, turning to catch Kylo by the arm. “ _Ren._ You can’t just march in there. Believe me, I know you want to, but you have to listen to me first.”

“I have to fight for him,” Kylo growls, pulling against Phasma’s hold though he doesn’t break free. “No matter what’s happened, Hux is mine—”

“It’s Celestyn Komine,” Phasma continues, lowering her voice, moving herself in front of Kylo so any onlookers may not read her lips. “The head medic. He’s been disguising himself as a beta to get to the Emperor to challenge you for him. He’s a maniac, Ren. He’ll do anything to get Hux.”

“He’ll have to go through _me._ ”

“And he’s going to have a damn good try. He’s quick, Ren. _Cunning._ He’s been hiding his status for _years,_ he admitted to Mitaka that a few of the other medics _disappeared_ because of him. Running into the fight like a brute isn’t going to work. He’s crafty. You have to watch out. But…but for Hux’s sake, Supreme Leader, tear his throat out.”

Beside her, the two Stormtroopers are nodding solemnly in agreement with her and Kylo can feel their worry too. It would seem that Hux’s troops are more loyal to him than one would first think.

“I will,” Kylo says, and Phasma finally releases his arm. “Take me to him.”

Phasma says nothing else, only giving her leader a salute before adorning her helmet and escorting them all back through the winding path of the gardens and back into the palace. Kylo’s mind races at lightspeed as he follows the three troopers, hands flexing by his side as he strides behind them, not even stopping to wipe his muddy boots on the mat as he re-enters the grand palace of Hux-Ren.

But even along the corridors, there’s an upset amongst the staff. Chefs, cleaners, ensigns, stormtroopers and officers of all rank line the corridors in parallel lines either side of the red carpet, all bowing their heads as Kylo passes through to get to the throne room. Alphas and betas alike, they all nod or curtsey at him, some even feeling bold enough to wish their Supreme Leader good luck for what he’s about to do but one whispers something that sends the final spark of hope through Kylo’s veins.

_“Bring war. Save him. Save your child.”_

Kylo turns back to catch a glimpse of the face of the man who spoke but sees no-one there who looks like they have just spoken directly into his ear. With shivers running up and down his spine, Kylo focusses everything he has on the present as he approaches the shining double-doors of the throne room at the end of the corridor. Six beta stormtroopers stand guard with their blasters armed and set to _kill,_ stepping aside only as Phasma and her two red troopers halt and Kylo continues.

“I can’t go in,” she says, and Kylo frowns, turning away from the door to keep himself close to her, comforted by her familiar scent. “Alphas can’t enter the room of the challenge. I’d want to tear Komine’s head off myself.” She smirks, glancing down as though imagining it but when she makes eye contact with Kylo again, there’s fire inside of her. “Get that son of a bitch, Ren. Don’t let Hux down. Don’t let _us_ down.”

The onlookers closest to the door make room for Phasma to stand in line with them, all bowing their heads when the guarding stormtroopers open the grand door and a rush of wind from inside sends shivers across Kylo’s skin. He gazes down the two, long lines of his loyal officers and workers, and can’t stop the fire from burning inside of his chest as though fuelled by the support from them. He wishes he could offer them some form of thanks but words are lost to him and time is of the essence. Hux is waiting to be claimed.

The last time Kylo had seen the palace’s throne room was on his wedding video, where it was filled with the finest red and gold decorations, flowers galore and row upon row of spectators to witness Emperor Hux’s marriage to Supreme Leader Ren. The room had been glowing, bursting with life and colour but now, as Kylo enters and the doors slam behind him, it’s as though all colour has been sucked out of it. A square perimeter of the A1-squadron of beta stormtroopers stand shoulder-to-shoulder around the room, alternating between one facing inwards and one facing outwards, guarding. Rain hammers down on the glorious stained-glass windows; the only sound to be heard beside the sound of Kylo’s footsteps as the perimeter breaks to allow him through, and Hux comes into sight.

The Emperor is sat upon his throne on the far side of the room, dressed in just a cotton white shirt and a pair of simple black trousers, black boots on his feet. His hair is tousled and unkempt and, though his shining crown sits on his nest of copper hair, Kylo can’t stop staring at the thick, white blindfold that’s tied around Hux’s eyes, preventing him from seeing _anything._ The omega’s usual image of strength and resilience is cracked; he’s trembling, hands shaking from where they’re holding tightly onto the arms of his throne, lips parting to exhale in shuddering breaths. Kylo’s eyes dart to Hux’s belly, so obviously _pregnant_ now that he knows it’s not a result of an overindulgent diet. The buttons of his white shirt strain a little around the middle, accentuating his bump, where he grows heavy with Kylo’s pup.

Like an automatic response that he didn’t know he had, Kylo stretches out with the Force and scans Hux’s mind to try to speak to him. Their bond may be incredibly strained but if Kylo can get inside of his mate’s mind and just tell him how sorry he is and ask if he’s been hurt then—

But Kylo flinches back when he’s hit with just _noise,_ a frenzy of panic and fear and anger all churning together into an unreadable mess means that Hux’s mind is off-limits now, unreachable. Perhaps his mental shields have done permanent damage to their bond. They’re both on their own.

“And here I was, doubting that you’d even come.”

Kylo looks to the kneeling figure beside the throne, wanting to surge forward now and tear Komine’s limbs from his body before the official duel has even begun. Still wearing his white medical coat, the doctor’s round-framed glasses slide down his nose as he keeps his head bowed before the blind omega, too close to him for Kylo’s liking.

“Get away from him,” Kylo says, slipping into his alpha tone. A few of the stormtroopers visibly tremble, so does Hux.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” Komine says, rising to stand, matching Kylo in height but not in width by any means. The enemy may be tall but he’s lithe; Kylo remembers what Phasma said about Komine being _quick_ and _cunning._ “Armitage is just as much mine in this moment as he is yours. Your claim on him has been challenged, Kylo Ren, and by the rules of our ancestors, we must fight for him. Armitage’s fate is in our hands.”

“Don’t call him that. You don’t have the _right_ —”

“And _you_ do?” Komine scoffs. “Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader, _who can’t even remember his own omega._ ”

Kylo snarls, “I _can_ remember.”

“Oh, can you? Then, can you tell me his birth date?”

Kylo swallows hard. Hux is five years older than him, _yes,_ but _date_? He couldn’t even guess a season. He digs deep, frustrated that his _old self_ would know the answer in a heartbeat but with his memory still gaping with holes, his new self remains a shadow.

“No?” Komine shrugs. “Tut, tut. Can you tell me the name of his childhood pet?”

More silence on Kylo’s part; he wasn’t even aware that Hux _had_ a pet as a child. Brendol doesn’t seem the type to have allowed his son an attachment like that.

“Oh dear, oh dear,” Komine says. “What about something more recent? Can you tell me the name of the first planet he conquered upon becoming Emperor?”

“I don’t have to prove anything to you!” Kylo yells, fists clenched by his sides. “Hux is _mine,_ and I am his. If I have to destroy you to prove it then so be it.”

But Komine remains calm in the face of Kylo’s rage. He lifts his chin high and smiles, “What sort of _mate_ are you? I have cared Armitage in your stead, _Supreme Leader._ Your amnesia has taken more of a toll on him than you know.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I may have lied about my status and my reasoning for being here but I _am_ a doctor, one that knows how dangerous it can be for an omega to be neglected by his mate.” Komine speaks _at_ Kylo, the air tense between them as both alphas stare each other down across the throne room, Komine on the higher ground on the steps in front of Hux’s throne. "He’s been taking extra vitamins and stims because you’ve _exhausted_ him, you fool. The first few days after your accident? He collapsed _twice_ because of you, because of your disregard for him and your _baby._  The burden of a muted bond could have not only killed the pup but Armitage as well but you, _Ren,_ could not have cared _less._ ”

Kylo stands rooted to the ground, unable to move for fear of his legs buckling. He stares at Hux whilst Komine spouts hate at him, watching as Hux’s eyebrows furrow and his lips twist as more and more venom leaves Komine’s mouth.

“I didn’t know who I was,” Kylo says, volume barely above a whisper. “I didn’t know I loved him.”

“You don’t love him,” Komine says, his tone as calm as ever, unnervingly so. “If you loved him, why would you treat him like _this_? I’ve always cared more for Armitage than you ever have. And for your pup! Oh, and the days before you mated him. You strangled him, threw him into walls like he was a _doll_ for your pleasure. And yet you had the _gall_ to put your claim on him. Rape, I’m certain.”

 _Strangled_ Hux? Threw him around? _Rape!_ Kylo doesn’t remember anything like that, his stomach churning even at the thought of bringing such horrible harm to his mate. And as for the last, evil allegation, Hux has told Kylo about their first time, and it was everything that Kylo ever wanted to happen in his first time with his soulmate—

“N-no,” Hux whines, shaking his head, twisting it as though trying to find Kylo through the blindfold. The omega at the heart of the challenged claim is forbidden to speak but Hux, a stickler for rules, shatters it for a moment to talk to Kylo. “Ren. It’s not true—”

“Shhh, dear one,” Komine hushes sweetly, placing his forefinger on Hux’s lips, sending the omega into complete pliancy one again, his shoulders drooping and his thighs clenching. Kylo _growls._ “Save your energy. You’ll need it for tonight when I step over Ren’s bloodied body and take you back to my chambers. _Our chambers, my love._ You’ll look so pretty on my knot.”

Hux visibly squirms in his throne but he doesn’t utter another word, silenced by the alpha. Kylo can’t take it anymore.

“Get your fucking hands off him,” Kylo marches forward now, using the Force to drag Komine’s hand away from Hux’s face, watching it move as though slapped away. “You don’t have the right to challenge me for him. He’s claimed me, too.”

“And what a shame it’d be for me to claim Armitage like I was destined to do,” Komine says, shrugging off his white coat to reveal a crisp, black suit underneath, shedding his jacket too until he’s in a white shirt, sleeves rolled up. “Because it’ll _kill you,_ Ren. When I claim Armitage, your bond will be severed and you’ll go _mad_ with the grief or die from the pain. A jolly outcome either way.”

The two alphas are a few meagre meters apart now, circling each other like feral predators in the savannah, teeth bared and claws out. Kylo can sense the apprehension of the beta guards but he tries to block them out, mind already feeling strained as a result of the challenged claim and still reeling from Hux’s frenzied thoughts. The pair lock gazes as they move, now fully committed to the duel. Only one is leaving alive.

Whilst Komine’s back remains ramrod straight, Kylo stoops over a little, crouching like a coiled predator ready to strike, wishing he had his lightsaber with him to simply tear the doctor’s limbs off with a few simple strikes but with the Force, he’ll surely win; he wants to make Komine bleed with his fists first.

“The rules,” Komine says, sliding one hand down the other as though pulling on a pair of surgical gloves. “A—”

“A fight to the death,” Kylo cuts in. “I _know._ So let’s fucking fight.”

Kylo throws himself at Komine, running, unable to wait another moment to spill blood, leaping forward in a couple of strong strides with the aim of knocking a few of those pretty teeth from that overzealous mouth with a swing of his fist. It’s been years since he’s felt the breaking of skin beneath his knuckles; the thought sends his instincts into an alpha-like excitement.

But Komine is quick, like Phasma warned. He spins around, pulling a blaster out of the back of his trousers and taking aim, pointing it straight at the blindfolded omega upon his throne, his finger already twitching on the trigger. Hux remains absolutely still, aside from the absent tremble to his body, but Kylo can’t move fast enough.

“ _No, Hux!”_ Using the Force, Kylo throws everything he has into a barrier around Hux, shielding him from the maniac, a barrier that’ll ricochet the blast straight back at Komine. Clearly, a ‘ _if I can’t have him, no one can’_ act, Kylo thinks. He’s come so close to losing Hux, he isn’t going to allow a blaster bolt to take him and their baby away.

Kylo, in his concentration of keeping Hux in a protective bubble, doesn’t see Komine’s turn. The movement of his hand is a blur, swinging it from behind his back and out in front of him, pausing only for a brief moment before _grinning_ and firing—only when the little projectile embeds itself into Kylo’s neck does he realise that is isn’t—was never—a blaster. It’s a dart gun, loaded with some form of yellow serum, that’s drained from its vial and straight into Kylo’s body.

“Too easy, Supreme Leader,” Komine says, blowing invisible smoke from the dart gun before swirling it around on his finger. “How _embarrassing_ for you.”

Kylo snarls, reaching to pull the dart from his neck but finds his hands are trembling, his knees failing him and buckling from underneath him to send him tumbling to the ground in a heap. He feels as though he’s been dumped in a frozen lake, drowning beneath the ice in freezing water; he’s shivering, he can’t catch his breath, he can’t reach the Force—

 _The Force._ It’s gone, ripped away from him like a lifeline, leaving him to drown in a deep, dark ocean.

“A complicated concoction of nerve-agents and depressants. A little of a special opioid in there, too, just for a kick,” Komine says with enthusiasm, stepping slowly towards Kylo’s fallen form, looking enchantingly at the gun, caressing its barrel. “Just something I began working on when you put your _filthy_ claim on something that is _mine._ ”

Through blurry vision, Kylo gets a glimpse of Hux, just his silhouette across the room, still sat on his throne, forbidden to intervene, though looks to be leaning forwards as much as he’s able to without being tackled by the beta troops. Kylo can’t let this keep him down. He’s more than his Force powers, he’s certain of that about himself. Although he relies on it in battle, he’s got raw strength in his blood; a Skywalker’s fire, an Organa’s fight and a Solo’s endurance, he’s not ruler of the galaxy because of the _Force._ Groaning, he tries to stand, to _fight,_ but like a newborn deer, his legs wobble as soon as he puts weight on his knees, sending him straight back to the floor on all fours, head hanging between his shoulders.

“It looks painful,” Komine says, his shining shoes coming into Kylo’s view as he stares at the floor, and suddenly one of those shoes is delivering a swift kick to his stomach, then another, _then another_ until Kylo keels over, coughing. “I hope it _hurts._ ”

More and more hits keep on coming. Stomps, kicks, punches. Stomach, ribs, chest. Komine’s strikes seem endless, packing more power than one would expect for a thin doctor but by the stench of his scent, his alpha instincts have heightened his adrenaline whilst the serum that Kylo was shot with seems to have weakened everything inside of him. His instincts are screaming at him to get up and fight for Hux but his body won’t respond, just wanting to curl up to stop the pain. It’s agonising, everything aches and there’s the definite feel of something bleeding through shirt but the worst pain is undoubtedly that of failing Hux.

Eyes forced shut, the image of Hux blindfolded and vulnerable is burned onto the back of Kylo’s eyelids. If only he hadn’t stormed out of their chambers earlier this evening, if only he hadn’t reacted so blindly, if only he’d listened to Hux. Is this penance for his amnesia? For neglecting his mate? To lose him and their child to an unworthy rival?

‘ _Too weak’_ , echoes a voice inside of Kylo’s mind. ‘ _You failed. You were supposed to protect them!’_

Only when Kylo coughs, blood spilling onto his lips as another kick strikes his stomach, making him cry out in pain, does he realise that the voice is his own. It’s his old self, the _Kylo Ren_ before the accident, the one who would have never allowed his claim on Hux to be challenged. When he cries out at a kick to his gut, he doesn’t see Hux flinch at the sound.

In a feeble attempt to protect himself, Kylo tries to curl up to, at least, shield his belly from the attacks—thinking of his unborn child inside of Hux—but he’s dragged up again by a handful of his damp hair gripped in Komine’s hand, pulled up until he’s face-to-face with the snarling alpha, his calm demeanour disappeared and replaced with that of a beast. Nostrils flaring, Komine seems to be high on the violence.

“Pathetic. Can’t even fight back,” Komine spits, timbre low. Kylo growls, showing his bloody teeth, struggling in the other alpha’s hold but his strength has left him. It’s _over_. “You’ve failed, Ren. Armitage is, and always has been, _mine._ ”

“ _Kylo! No!”_

It’s as though Hux has seen the viroblade before Kylo does, before Komine pulls it out of his boot and waves it in front of Kylo’s face, gliding the soft curve of its blade over Kylo’s bottom lip, but Hux’s voice calling out to him seems to slow everything down for Kylo. He feels as though he’s underwater, a low rumbling sound cascades through his ears and, suddenly, he’s no longer in the throne room. Kylo’s surroundings change in the blink of an eye and he recognises them immediately; the small room, the soft mattress beneath him, the scent—

He’s Ben Solo again, teetering on the very edge of darkness, waking to find Luke Skywalker standing over him with his ignited lightsaber, bathing his safe, little hut in an ominous green glow. Kylo inhales, trying to gather himself, but is struck by a similar scent that he smelt on that night; the scent of a terrified omega, a scent that would never fail to awaken every instinct in an alpha, even one as young as Ben was, and send them feral. Only, now, Kylo _knows_ that this isn’t _Luke’s_ scent. His Uncle’s scent was always comforting, like the smell of freshly fallen rain upon soft soil, of well-worn robes, of old books. This scent is much more familiar, one that Kylo has come to intimately know, one that has the power to set both his mind and his loins alight. Ashy, like fresh embers on a victorious battlefield, sweet like a watered rose, like fruity shampoo. _Home._ Armitage Hux’s scent is _home_ to Kylo.

_Home._

_A palace, an evening with a clear, starry sky._ Images spring to Kylo’s mind for no more than a moment or two, disappearing before he can look deeper into what the Force is showing him. _The yearly spring ball, with Hux in dress robes that make his heavily pregnant figure look stunning. Kylo, standing beside him, asking his mate to slow-dance to the ensemble’s romantic song. A flash forward; a baby’s crib, a room painted light blue, yellow stars on the walls. A baby born in springtime, when the leaves on the trees come alive again and the warm rain washes away the sadness of winter. The boy has Hux’s eyes, a pale shade of green that can be mistaken for blue, like crest of a crashing wave against a bright sky, the hue of morning dew in an enchanted forest. But he has Kylo’s spirit, a war-bringer, and the boy’s courage is going to shake the galaxy. Hux has never looked happier when holding their pup in his arms, beaming with pride, their bond stronger than it ever has been before. Hux is Kylo’s, and Kylo is Hux’s. Mates, bonded, married. It’s their future._

The vision fades from Kylo’s mind through black, forcing him back into the throne room where Komine’s viroblade is inches away from being plunged into Kylo’s gut. The doctor’s laugh fills Kylo’s ears, maniacal and prematurely victorious, but all Kylo can sense is Hux’s terror, the unrestrained and vehement alarm that’s pounding its way into Kylo’s mind as though the strong, _impenetrable_ mental shields that he erected on the very first day he woke from his accident have dissolved.

They’re gone. Their bond is open, flowing between them like a strong, unstoppable river, streaming Hux’s every thought into Kylo’s mind as it’s supposed to be instead of hazy static that he’s used to.

‘ _Gods, don’t let him die,’_ Hux is chanting, tears hidden underneath his blindfold. His voice is as clear as day in Kylo’s mind, bringing calm to him despite the grim situation. ‘ _Bring him back to me. I need him. Don’t let him die, stars, please.’_

Before the doctor can plunge the viroblade through his stomach, Kylo takes an airtight grip of Komine’s wrist, making the latter cry out in anger at his opponent’s newfound strength. They grapple, struggling, pushing and pulling against each other to control the blade but Kylo, still kneeling, finds balance, enough to bring his free hand around to claw at Komine’s cheek, dragging his glasses from his face and so giving Kylo’s sharp fingernails access to his now-vulnerable eye. The contact feels wonderful, Kylo thinks, making his opponent bleed. Komine yells in pain, falling onto the ground and allowing the blade to fall out of his hand and clatter away.

“ _Alpha bitch,”_ Komine snarls after crying out, recoiling to hold his watering eye and bleeding face. “I _had_ you! Armitage is mine!”

Kylo doesn’t dignify his fallen enemy with a reply but, instead, manages to stand on his shaky legs, savouring his towering position over the other alpha for just a brief moment before his fists crave blood, blocking out his own pain by focussing on Hux’s bright presence inside of his mind. With a harsh grip on the front of Komine’s white shirt, Kylo delivers a hard punch straight into his nose, sending blood everywhere, pulling him back in for another hit before Komine has had time to catch himself or defend himself from the incoming onslaught of Kylo’s knuckles. Crimson stains his white shirt, pooling on every inch of his face as Kylo keeps on hitting, fighting as though his life depends on it—no, Hux’s life. Each hit, each drop of blood he spills from this traitor’s body means that he’s closer to winning back Hux’s hand, winning the opportunity to apologise to his mate for abandoning him.

After a rage-induced yell, Kylo brings his fist about for another hit, imagining Hux and his pup smiling at him, and strikes Komine under his jaw, sending him tumbling to the ground in a bloodied heap, utterly defeated and unconscious. The glint of the viroblade catches Kylo’s eye as he wobbles, overwhelmed and still under the strain of the drug, but tries anyway to call the weapon to his outstretched palm. It comes, trembling for a few moments on the ground before flying up into his unsteady hand.

He holds the blade up, eyes travelling down the short, golden handle to the very curved tip, then to his bloodied knuckles. His gaze then goes to Hux, still blindfolded and subdued in his throne. Hasn’t enough blood been shed? Komine is beaten, lying battered at Kylo’s feet and only slowly returning to a painful consciousness, by the sounds of his moans, and he’s no longer a threat to Hux whilst Kylo is around. This should be enough of a victory, Kylo thinks. He doesn’t need to bring death. And yet, something inside of his stirs and before he’s fought it, the viroblade in his hand is piercing through Komine’s gut, pushing it in as far as it’ll go before twisting, eliciting a pathetic, feeble moan from the dying alpha’s lips.

“ _Too easy,”_ Kylo snarls, using Komine’s own taunting words against him, leaning in to hear his last, gasping and gurgling breaths. “Hux is mine, _my_ mate. He was never going to be yours.”

“ _P-please,”_ Komine gasps, twisting his body but in too much pain to move properly. “ _Let me see him. One…last time. A-Armitage—”_

Gritting his teeth, Kylo pulls the blade out of Komine’s stomach and back into the centre of his chest, pulling it out immediately and casting the blade aside, dripping with the alpha’s dark blood. A few convulses, a couple of pained gasps, and the doctor is gone, left to bleed out onto the red, throne-room carpet, eyes open and staring into nothingness.

It’s _over._ A collective sigh of relief comes from the surrounding betas, despite their roles as impassive guards but Kylo ignores them, hurrying over to the most important and treasured person in his life, ready to start making amends for everything he’s put him through. Hux’s breathing is ragged, his pale hands still with a white-knuckled grip on the armrests of his throne, his round pregnant bump safe and sound.

“ _Hux,_ ” Kylo breathes, falling to his knees in front of the Emperor, feeling dizzier than ever despite the Force slowly beginning to return to him. He puts it down to the blood loss from his wounds and ignores it.

Kylo reaches up and pulls the blindfold from Hux’s eyes, tossing it aside as though it’s burned him, wanting the horrid thing gone and out of Hux’s sight. The omega’s eyes are red-rimmed from his crying but the shining green of his irises are like the light being freed from the darkest of storm clouds; Kylo has his stars back. He thinks of Komine’s words; of Hux collapsing as a result of Kylo’s negligence, of the possible damage he could have caused his mate _and_ his pup. He knows that he’ll spend the rest of his life trying to make it right, starting now.

“Forgive me,” Kylo says, bowing his head, kneeling in front of his mate, blood beginning to pound in his ears. “Hux. My omega. Forgive me for all that I’ve—”

Before he can unleash his desperate apology, Hux _leaps_ at him, sending them both tumbling to the ground with Kylo’s body cushioning Hux’s fall, his bump nestled gently between them. Kylo winces as the tenderness of his own abdomen from Komine’s kicks and hits but the pain is irrelevant; Hux is in his arms. Their lips meet headedly, Kylo’s breath stolen away by Hux’s frantic kisses but it’s worth it, _so_ worth it, just to feel his true mate in his arms again. It sends Kylo’s mind into overdrive, making him see fireworks behind his eyelids, and makes the scent glands on his neck tingle with anticipation. He can’t bear a moment longer; he moves his lips down to Hux’s neck, planting open-mouthed kisses over his claim mark before rolling them both over to do this properly, heart thrumming wildly, beating so loudly that he can hear it in his ears. Cushioning Hux’s head with one of his arms, Kylo straddles Hux’s thighs, mindful of his belly, and leans in, sniffing and licking over his claim mark like an alpha would before claiming an omega for the first time.

“Only you, Kylo,” Hux whispers, lifting his chin up to allow perfect access to his neck. His hands, no longer trembling, caress through Kylo’s damp hair. “I love you.”

Kylo bites down onto Hux’s claim mark, sending the omega into a pained but pleasured shriek as the alpha claims him again, freshening the scar that was already there, reddening it again but not to the point of drawing blood, enough to make it come alight.

“I love you,” Kylo replies, lifting his head to come nose-to-nose with Hux, who has a fresh set of tears in his eyes but a smile is on his thin lips. “And I’m sorry. I— _hhghhh!”_

Suddenly, pain strikes Kylo in his gut. Not a physical pain but one deep inside his bones, one that makes every nerve in his body quiver, making the heartbeat in his ears so loud that he can barely hear Hux calling out to him. Before it becomes too much, he falls to the side, making sure he doesn’t collapse on top of his pregnant mate, but he’s forced to scrunch his eyes closed as a cold sweat overtakes him, making him shiver.

“ _Ren!_ What is it? What’s wrong?” Hux is calling to him but his voice sounds distant, echoing throughout Kylo’s mind like a gong. “Help! Medics! Someone, help! Hold on, Ren!”

Feeling Hux’s soft, familiar hands on his chest makes time slow. His pain stops, his shaking stops, and everything becomes clear, opening his eyes to reveal irises gone black. Nothing else in the galaxy matters in this moment apart from Hux, and that’s all Kylo’s mind can focus on. He knows what’s happening to him.

“ _Emperor Hux!_ ”

It’s Phasma. She’s getting closer to them, Kylo can smell her alpha scent, getting closer to _Hux._ She’s in front of them, kneeling beside Hux, _too close._ Kylo growls. She can’t have him. Hasn’t she seen what he’s done to Komine because he challenged him? Hux belongs to _him;_ he’ll kill every alpha in this palace if he has to make them understand.

“ _Mine,_ ” Kylo is saying, hardly recognising the dark tone to his voice but nonetheless, he leaps to his feet and sweeps Hux behind him, standing in a crouched position as he was at the beginning of his and Komine’s fight, ready to take another _alpha_ down for challenging him for Hux.

“Phasma, don’t!” Hux cries out from behind him, unafraid but concerned; Kylo can hear it in his tone, smell it in his scent. He’ll protect his mate from this invading brute.

“Supreme Leader? I don’t understand,” Phasma says. She holds her hands up, signalling her innocence but Kylo doesn’t believe her. Even the beta guards around her could attack at any moment. “I’m not challenging you for your mate. The omega is yours, alpha.”

“It won’t work, Phasma. Can’t you smell his hunger? It’s too late to stop it. Killing another alpha has brought _it._ He needs me, he thinks any other alpha is a challenger.” Hux says, making Kylo turn around when he takes his hand in his. Kylo feels the familiar warmth of Hux’s nose and lips against his claim mark, making it throb with desperate need that can only be satiated by Hux’s touch. “He’s gone into rut.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♪ DING DONG, THE DOCTOR'S DEAD ♪ o(≧o≦)o
> 
> A little predictable, probably, but Kylo _obviously_ had to win the fight to claim Hux. And Kylo's vision of the baby? _Can the Force lie?_ Just food for thought. But, oh no! Kylo's gone into rut! The alpha equivalent of a heat! Who _knows_ how Hux, an omega and Kylo's mate, is going to help him? (｡♥‿♥｡)
> 
> See you all next chapter! Thank you so much for reading! ❤️
> 
> My tumblr is [@solohux](http://solohux.tumblr.com/) ❤️
> 
> And I'm also on twitter now! Find me [@solohuxx](https://mobile.twitter.com/solohuxx) 💙


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to update. I kinda fell out of love with this fic and it was pushed to the side but a new wave of inspiration hit me and I've finished this chapter and begun the next one. 
> 
> **Extra warnings for this chapter: mentions of noncon though there's NO NONCON, mentions of panic attacks**
> 
> *in the tune of The Beatles' Here Comes The Sun*  
> Here comes the smut (doo doo doo)  
> Here comes the smut, and I say  
> It's all right ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
> 
> Enjoy!

It takes half an hour and the aid of seven droids to get Kylo to their bedchambers.

The royal palace is filled with worry; that of the officers, the guards, the medics but no feelings of dread are stronger than that of their Emperor’s. Hux’s pain for his mate’s health is palpable as he takes small steps beside his injured alpha through the vacated corridors of their home. The first medical droid managed to apply a bacta patch to the wound on the bottom side of Kylo’s belly before it was promptly destroyed by the rutting alpha. After the third droid was ripped apart, Hux commanded that all others stay away.

“ _They’re under my orders, Ren,”_ Hux had said, brushing his fingers through Kylo’s hair as the latter clung onto him, barely out of the throne room. “ _They won’t touch me. I’m yours, remember? They just want to help you.”_

But talking to a rutting, _mated_ alpha is as good as talking to a stone wall; at least Hux could knock down said wall, but Kylo’s mind and instincts are so strongly wired to do nothing but protect his mate and copulate that even Hux’s reassurance that onlookers and droids aren’t going to interfere fall on deaf ears. It’s the bleeding and blood loss from Kylo’s fight with Komine that worry Hux the most. At least the bacta patch over his lower abdomen has stopped _that one_ wound from bleeding but Hux managed to catch a glimpse of the rest of the alpha’s torso before the med-droid was imploded by Kylo’s slowly-returning powers. Beneath his dark shirt, a plethora of bruises paint darkly across his pale skin but particularly around his ribs, indicating at least a couple of fractures.

Hux didn’t see the fight with Komine, of course, but the pained grunts and cries of his beloved Ren are something that the omega won’t forget anytime soon.

“Hux,” Kylo growls, twisting his body to angle his hips towards his mate _. “I need—”_

“I know, Ren, I know what you need,” Hux allows Kylo a deep kiss and a couple of ruts of his rock-hard cock against his thigh before pulling him along. “We’re almost at our chambers. Then you can do what you have to. Not much further, darling, I promise.”

Kylo whines lowly at the response, obviously dissatisfied at the denial, but Hux can only move so fast. Inside him, his pup makes his belly flutter as though reminding him that he isn’t alone in this struggle to get Kylo home before he loses himself and mounts Hux here and now in the corridor of their palace. Hux spares a hand for a moment to rub under the small, soft curve of his belly, absently wanting the next five months to fly over so he and Kylo can meet their miracle.

They round the corner that leads to their private bedchambers with Kylo’s weight resting mostly on Hux now, his heavy form being pulled along with Hux’s arms wrapped around Kylo’s waist whilst the alpha has his arm slung over the omega’s narrow shoulders, and each shuffle is becoming more and more difficult as Hux breathes in his mate’s rutting scent. It’s been a long time since Hux has smelt it, not since they conceived their child almost sixteen weeks ago, and it’s intoxicating. Like soft lavender and sandalwood, Kylo’s scent smells like home; the scent of Hux’s favourite calming bath salts, of his mother’s favourite flower, and then of the alpha’s raw, earthy scent that captivated Hux since the first day they met as General and apprentice. Even then, something sparked between them, but something that wouldn’t be acted on for another half a decade.

“Voice activation for entry,” Hux calls out just as they near the proud double-doors of their chambers, knowing that he’d never be able to let go of Kylo to reach the security pad on the side of the door to open it. “ _Emperor Armitage Hux, code 31174.”_

The door chimes in response and both doors open slowly, grandly, allowing the royal couple entry. Gritting his teeth in pain at his strained muscles, Hux staggers in, struggling to keep hold of Kylo’s weight but he’s relieved to finally be in the comfort of his own chambers again and away from the eyes of everyone else; just him and his mate. But the intensity of his struggle to half-carry his big-bodied alpha up to their rooms takes its toll suddenly and Hux’s knees turn to jelly, sending them both to the ground. Hux jolts with the intensity of the fall and feels his golden circlet slip from his head, hearing it clatter and roll away from him but his hands, instead, move to hold his belly to reassure and check on his pup. He doesn’t feel any discomfort but takes steady breaths to calm himself in the hopes that the stress hasn’t caused the baby any harm.

Next to him, Kylo moves, rising to his knees to shuffle as close to Hux as he can manage. Hux waits for the onslaught of kisses and touches but nothing comes, only the soft feeling of the alpha’s breath on his cheek, of his hand atop Hux’s where it rests on his belly.

“I’m sorry,” Kylo says, straining through his rut into coherency.

“You’ve done nothing worth apologising for,” Hux closes his eyes slowly, breathing in long breaths, feeling his body succumb to arousal now that he’s alone with his mate. “I should be the one apologising for keeping this from you.”

“I shouldn’t have— _aghhh_. It hurts, it hurts so much, Hux.”

“I know, Ren. We’ll have plenty of time to talk later. We need to get to the bed.”

“I can’t stop this.”

“I don’t want you to.” Hux opens his eyes and sees his mate’s handsome face glowing before him, cheeks blushing and blood drying around his nostrils and around the cuts on his face. Unable to resist, Hux brings their foreheads together and tightens his grip on Kylo’s hand. “I’ve wanted you since the day of your accident. I wanted you to lie with me and make you remember what passion we used to have, I wanted to show you how much I love you. And now, I can.”

“But I’m still not _him,_ ” Kylo bites his lip, panting heavily now. Through their bond, Hux feels Kylo’s insecurity like a cold shiver. “My _memories._ I’m still not the man you fell in love with, the one you _mated,_ married.”

“You are,” Hux nods, cocking his head. “You never stopped.”

Hux initiates their first _passionate_ kiss since Kylo’s memories were lost, delving in with his tongue to devour the alpha’s lips in a frenzy that he hopes will be matched. He hadn’t quite realised just how slick and wet he’d become until he’s lifted from the ground and into Kylo’s arms, embarrassed slightly by the way his black trousers stick to his damp ass and crotch but it’s no matter; he’ll be losing his pants in a moment, anyway.

From the short distance from their living space to their bedchambers, their lips don’t leave each other’s. Along the way, Kylo levitates Hux’s crown back onto his head, popping it down gently on his nest of soft, gel-free red hair, and Hux welcomes it back but not for egotistical reasons but for sentimental ones; he and Kylo have _never_ had sex without the circlet being in place on the omega’s head, Kylo has never allowed it, and with the alpha so clearly wanting it back on _now,_ Hux holds out hope that the rest of Kylo’s lost memories are surfacing slowly, maybe without his knowledge.

“You’re beautiful,” Kylo whispers into Hux’s ear as he lays him down on his back upon their grand bed, continuing his charge of wistful kissing. “So beautiful.”

“You’ve always been a flatterer, Kylo Ren. You _know_ that it gets you whatever you want from me.”

Hux smiles, cupping his lover’s cheeks, and swears that Kylo’s brown eyes are shining so brightly that he can see himself reflected in them, making them _one_. It’s a moment that Hux wishes he could capture forever; Kylo straddling him, smiling down at him, his face framed by his long locks of dark hair. Kylo’s face has been so burdened lately that Hux felt as though he’d never see his mate smile again. Seeing it now feels akin to seeing sunshine for the first time after months of deluge, a feeling that young Hux was _very_ familiar with whilst living on Arkanis. But the alpha’s smile fades almost suddenly, too suddenly, and the browns of his irises are lost as he sniffs the air as though following the scent of something.

“He’s been here,” Kylo growls. “The other alpha.”

Hux curses, looking to the side and remembering how Komine had entered his bedchambers unannounced and knelt before him, almost _demanding_ that Hux break his bond with Kylo and become his mate, promising him permission to keep Kylo’s pup as though Hux would _allow_ any harm to come to his baby. Komine’s scent must be lingering on the furnishings—the carpet and bedsheets—and in the air. Hux is too drugged on Kylo’s scent to notice it.

“You killed him, Ren,” Hux speaks softly. “He can’t hurt us.”

“He touched you.”

“Yes, but—”

“He wanted you.”

“He couldn’t have me. I’m yours, Ren. Always yours.”

“Mine.”

Hux can’t stop himself from yelping as Kylo moves quickly and without warning, diving in to pace open-mouthed kisses on the claim mark on his neck, sparking a wave of pain from the fresh bite of the re-claim in the throne room not an hour ago, but Hux rides it out. He would have died to have a moment like this when he believed that Kylo would remain the cold and unloving alpha that he became after his head injury, so Hux isn’t going to allow a flash of discomfort to stop him from enjoying every touch that his darling Kylo gives him.

“Slow down, Ren. We’ve got all the time in the galaxy. No one is going to stop us. Here, help me undress,” Hux whispers, and Kylo obeys. The alpha moves as though hypnotised, happy to do as his mate wishes, and begins to declothe Hux with slow and sensual touches. He slides off his heavy boots and leaves them to the side, taking a moment to massage the swelling around Hux’s delicate ankles, something that Hux knows is only going to get worse as his pregnancy progresses but he doesn’t dwell on that now; from his mouth comes a small, gasping whine when Kylo’s hand glides up the inside of his thigh and to his wet crotch, continuing the massage of his foot but adding another to the front of his pants.

Hux bites his lip and arches into the touch whilst unbuttoning his white cotton shirt with trembling fingers, overcome with desire and suddenly aware that his skin is beginning to burn with a hot need to be naked. He appreciates Kylo’s sensuality but his clothes need to come _off,_ so he unfastens his trousers and wiggles them down from his hips but his movements are halted when Kylo _obviously_ gets the hint and continues the hasty work for him. Soon enough, the omega is nude in their bed, wearing nothing but his golden laurel leaf crown and a _come hither_ look in his pale eyes. It’s the first time that his mate has seen his pregnant belly in full view without any interference from clothes, and Kylo, even in his rut, is mesmerised by the plump little curve.

“He’s proud of you,” Hux says softly as though afraid to disturb the rutting alpha’s moment. “I can feel it. He’s proud of his papa.”

A sense of recognition and rationality flashes in Kylo’s eyes for a brief second as though _wanting_ to reply with something equally as sentimental but his mind can only allow him to focus on one thing; knotting his mate.

“It’s alright, Ren,” Hux reassures when Kylo looks for approval when removing his hands from his belly. “Keep going. Undress for me.”

Backing up, Kylo sits up and takes his shirt off, and the reaction that Hux _wanted_ to have isn’t the one he gets. He managed to get a small glimpse of Kylo’s torso before when the poor medical droid tried to apply bacta patches to his wounds but now, with the alpha fully shirtless, Hux can see the extent of the damage done in his fight with Komine. Kylo’s abdomen is a midnight sky painted on a rough-surfaced canvas; dark blotches of purples and reds dot across his skin whilst clouds of light swelling form around his ribs. Even on his neck, there sits a pink mark where the Force-suppressing dart pierced his skin and rendered him as capable as a newborn deer on a frozen lake, and suddenly Hux wishes Komine was still alive so he could kill him again.

“My Ren, how dare someone hurt you like this.” Hux sits up and runs his hand across the delicate plain of injuries on the alpha’s chest and tummy, pulling back when Kylo inhales sharply.

“Worth…it,” Kylo breathes, removing his trousers to leave him just as naked as Hux.

The two kneel together on the bed, facing each other, aroused and needy. Hux almost falls into Kylo’s embrace when the latter opens his arms as though sensing Hux’s need for skin-on-skin contact. The omega feels himself melt inside of Kylo’s arms; only in his dreams has he felt this safe, dreams where his mate is his old self and being held by him doesn’t seem like an impossibility. Beneath his hands, Hux feels the remnants of scars across Kylo’s back, ones from the last five years of missions, ones that he doesn’t recall obtaining but they were _all_ for Hux, all for their new empire that they call the First Order. Endless nights of Hux’s were spent tending to and kissing those scars and he can’t wait to begin again.

And whilst Hux remains mindful of the alpha’s wounds, Kylo doesn’t seem bothered, too busy focussing on what his hands are doing and how good it feels to finally get some friction against his rock hard cock. With slightly frenzied movements, Kylo thrusts himself against Hux’s belly, making his breaths come in small gasping moans upon Hux’s ear.

“That’s it, my darling,” Hux says, smoothing his hands up and down Kylo’s back. “I’ve missed you so much.”

The alpha’s hands find Hux’s ass cheeks and he begins kneading them with his fingers, teasing the omega’s fluttering hole with each move, pushing and pulling them apart to make his wet entrance squelch. Whining, Hux sucks in a breath when one of Kylo’s digits penetrates him slowly, sinking into his heat with a long slide, and Hux loses his mind for a second, losing himself in extraordinary realms of pleasure that he hasn’t experienced in a while. After weeks of being apart and countless thoughts about never being able to know his mate like this again, Hux feels as though he’s floating.

“Mine,” Kylo kisses at Hux’s claim mark, licking over his scent glands and coaxing every bit of Hux’s arousal to the surface until he’s trembling like he’s in heat.

“Stars, Kylo, yes. Oh, oh, darling. I can’t wait for you any longer. I want you, all of you. Let me get into a better position—”

But Kylo is already gently lifting him and manoeuvring him into the position that he wants; with Hux’s hands braced against the head of the bedframe and Kylo behind him, Hux’s back perfectly arched and accentuated. A series of warm, open-mouthed kisses trail along the curve of Hux’s spine, and he feels tears prick his eyes at the familiarity of the feeling. He knows the exact spots of the most prominent freckles on his back because of how much attention Kylo gives them in situations exactly like this one, yet he mourned the loss of these moments when his mate woke up with his memories lost. Yet, as Kylo’s kisses continue their journey all the way down to his ass cheeks without missing a single freckle, Hux wonders whether his previous thoughts about Kylo’s memories slowly resurfacing without his knowledge is true: the tears fall from Hux’s eyes.

Their private chambers are filled with the sounds of Hux’s moans as Kylo eagerly laps and fucks his hole with his tongue, tasting his sweet omega slick that’s beginning to coat the tops of his pale thighs. His whole body rocks back and forth of its own accord, his grip tightening as hard as it possibly can on the bedframe as an attempt to anchor himself. Kylo’s tongue feels so deep that Hux shudders and feels himself come a little, spurting a bit of seed from his small omega cock, but he feels greedy and grabs himself to jerk himself off until he’s orgasming properly, convulsing like a whore on his mate’s tongue.

“Oh, Ren! _Oh, yes, yes_ ,” Hux cries out, flooding their bond with such pleasure that he feels Kylo’s bliss spike too, and he even hears a growl from the alpha that’s characteristic to his climax. Hux smiles, biting his lip; simultaneous orgasms are one of the benefits of being bonded.

“My mate,” Kylo pulls away from his ass and practically drapes himself over Hux’s back, dwarfing him with his bulk, breathing heavily. Despite feeling so small beneath his mate’s body, Hux has never felt safer. “My omega.”

“Yes, Kylo. Always, always yours.” When Hux feels the familiar push of Kylo’s cock against his hole, his galaxy realigns as though nothing has happened; no accident, no injury, no challenges-on-claims. Just lovers that never stopped being so, an alpha and an omega with a bond so strong that not even amnesia could break it. Whatever the future may bring for them and their pup, Hux knows that everything is fine.

The first few thrusts seem unsure on Kylo’s part as though uncertain of his rhythm but he finds it again, like remembering how to ride a bike—or a mate—and soon enough, their bodies are one and Hux can feel the alpha’s knot swelling already. As Kylo continues to push in, he lays shadowy kisses across Hux's neck as both of them breathe heavily, groaning and gasping, and Hux feels dopey with pleasure having craved this since the beginning. 

"Hux." Kylo's breath is warm on Hux's flushed cheek, his cock fully sheathed inside his mate. "My omega. I'm here now.”

The last three words make Hux’s heart pound with relief, “Oh, my alpha. I’ve missed you, Ren. Y-yes, fuck me, please.”

And Kylo gladly obeys, thrusting hard and Hux feels lost in the sensations, finally getting what his body has desired since he first heard the reports of Kylo’s accident. He wanted nothing more than for his mate to be safe at home with him in their bed, tied together by Kylo’s knot where nothing could bring harm to him. Now that he’s got it, _his everything,_ Hux doesn’t want this moment to end.

After weeks of celibacy, it isn't long before Kylo's knot begins to swell and pulse, ready to tie them. Hux's breath comes in ragged gasps as he feels his own release rapidly approaching again, bracing himself by tensing his body and getting a white-knuckled grip of the bedframe.

"R-Ren, i-it feels so good, I can't—." Hux's moans become totally incoherent, babbling nonsensically as he's driven past the point of pleasure to overstimulation but Kylo doesn't stop, thrusting rigorously into his omega with a reckless abandon as though the longing and desperation that has built up over the last few weeks from being apart is controlling his actions. Kylo's moans are borderline animalistic as he knots Hux, forcing the omega to shake as he comes again but completely untouched this time, feeling a rush of his own slick inside him as well as his cock covering himself and the sheets in his seed. But even over the sounds of his own gasping, Hux hears the bedframe creak and the decanter & glasses on the sideboard smash, explode, into a thousand pieces.

“Hux—!” Kylo climaxes hard, letting his hips come to a shuddering stop at his knot plumps out to fullness, keeping his spilt seed inside of his mate but his returning Force powers spiral out of control quickly, making the very walls of their bedchamber creak from the pressure they’re being put under by him and his immense mental strength.

“ _Kylo,_ shhh, my darling.” There’s little Hux can do to comfort his mate now that they’re tied in this position—with Hux on all fours and Kylo behind him—but he tries his best regardless. Reaching back over his shoulder, Hux finds Kylo’s head resting there and he just about manages to massage his fingers through the alpha’s unruly dark hair in an attempt to calm him. “You’re alright, I promise. Just breathe with me, remember?”

Kylo cries out in pain as though struggling to control his own strength, seemingly hit all at once by Komine’s serum wearing off and having his powers flood back to him. Through their bond, Hux can feel Kylo’s panic, his fear in case his uncontrollable power hurts his mate or their baby, and it’s taking over him. Hux _knows_ how to help Kylo through a panic attack as he recalls the evening where he became overwhelmed after learning the truth about Luke & Rey Skywalker and was almost lost to his emotions but Hux had been there, guiding Kylo’s hand to his claim mark, but in this position _and_ with his powers involved, it’s a little more difficult.

“I remember—this,” Kylo says through gritted teeth, hands trembling where they rest on Hux’s hips.

“What, Ren? What do you remember? Tell me, focus on that,” Hux replies calmly. “Show me.”

“Our first time.”

“Ah,” Hux sighs, content when things seem to calm down and Kylo’s powers settle back under his control. “Yes, so do I.”

Another groan and their bond is engulfed in a white light.

_The First Order chase their tails after Crait. The Resistance falls completely off their radar, not even Hux’s new tracking technology can find them, much to his annoyance and disappointment. He works tirelessly day and night on keeping the First Order together; communicating with High Command and their new Supreme Leader since the two don’t see eye-to-eye, all while maintaining morale in front of his officers and subordinates. He won’t allow anyone to see his cracks._

_It’s been two months since Crait, and things are still extremely delicate._

_“Permission to speak freely, sir?” Mitaka stutters after taking the stylus of his datapad from Hux’s trembling hand._

_“Granted, Lieutenant. What is it?” General Hux keeps his voice down, hoping that Mitaka will copy him. He doesn’t want gossip happening on the bridge._

_“You look unwell, sir. A quick trip to the medical bay may be what you need. A few of the other alphas on board have fallen ill with a strain of Najju flu, the virus that only seems to affect alphas. Perhaps that’s what you have, General?”_

_Other alphas. Hux stops himself from scoffing. If only poor beta Mitaka knew that he was an omega masquerading in front of all these alphas, pretending to be one of them with suppressants and cologne, elixirs to hide his naturally sweet scent. It isn’t the flu; it’s merely exhaustion, dehydration and absolutely nothing else._

_“I appreciate your concern, Dopheld, but I am well. Return to your post.”_

_“Yes, General Hux. I shall take these flight reports to the Supreme Leader, sir.”_

_“No! No, I’ll take them,” Hux cuts in, almost snatching the datapad from the Lieutenant’s hands. Ever since Dopheld’s encounter with Ren that involved him being dragged across the bridge and strangled, Hux has tried his best to keep the little beta out of harm. Hux tells himself that it’s his desire to keep a good officer alive and most certainly **not** any omega instincts to protect his…family. _

_And whilst the walk to Ren’s throne room is only a short distance, every step feels heavy for Hux, fearing for his life every time he’s in the Supreme Leader’s domineering, alpha presence. The omega huffs to himself, keeping his head high. How foolish of him to once think that he and Ren could **be** something one day, comrades at the very least, to bring the First Order’s rule to completion. A strangle and being thrown into a few walls ended that very quickly, Hux remembers, still feeling a tenderness around his shoulders and ribs, pain that seems to emerge when he enters Ren’s throne room and sets his gaze upon the cardinal alpha. Swallowing hard, Hux approaches without letting his anxiousness show. _

_Ren is in his usual position; sat upon his grand throne—the very same one that he slaughtered his master in—with his eyes closed and legs folded, clearly in one of his meditative states of mind. His lightsaber floats effortlessly beside him, twisting slowly in the air, stopping with its blade-end pointed at Hux when the latter halts a few feet away from the Supreme Leader. Ren must have heard him, sensed him, but he doesn’t open his eyes. Instead, he exhales slowly and unfolds his legs, moving to place his hands on the armrests of the throne, finally sitting like a ruler should._

_“Yes, General Hux?” Kylo asks, finally, opening his eyes slowly to reveal the brown irises that have always simultaneously enchanted and unnerved Hux, more so the latter today. With a clear illness looming, Hux finds himself suppressing a strong shiver down his spine as he makes eye-contact with Ren, his stomach churning with an unfamiliar feeling. Perhaps it is a form a flu, an ‘omega only’ strain that’s making him feel strange in Ren’s presence._

_“I have the reports and results of the tests on our newest squadron of TIEs, sir,” Hux replies, standing as tall as he can possibly make himself in the dominating alpha’s presence. “Your own ship, the Whisper, ranked highest in all tests—”_

_“Are you unwell, General?”_

_Hux frowns, annoyed at being interrupted. “No, Supreme Leader. I am very well. As I was saying, the—”_

_“Your scent. It’s different.”_

_“Exhaustion and an overuse of stimulants, Supreme Leader, I assure you. If I could just relay this report to you as quickly as possible, sir, I have work to do on the bridge.”_

_Ren’s expression matches Hux’s, a disapproving frown, but he nods nevertheless, “Very well, General. Proceed.”_

_“Thank you. The TIE Whisper—” But Hux’s words fall away from his mouth in the form of a cry as he feels a burning sensation deep within his gut, a twisting of butterflies in his belly and chest, and, perhaps the symptom he feared the most, a rush of warm slick inside of his hole._

_The datapad in Hux’s hand clatters to the floor as he staggers back, wrapping his arms around his paining belly, feeling his intelligent thoughts become less coherent and more panicked. This can’t be happening, he’s thinking. All logic suggests that he’s going into heat but he can’t be, it’s impossible: the little pink pills that he takes every morning and night ensure that his heats stay suppressed and his status stays hidden, enough for him to masquerade as an alpha and keep his position of power. But he can’t deny it, his pills must have failed him. The feeling of a heat is so much more painful than he remembers, though it’s been seventeen years since his last heat, also his first. To Imperials, omegas are seen as weak, good-for-nothing whores that should be used for their wombs and their holes. Hux has tried so hard to fight that view and conquer everything that stood before him but as he sinks to his knees in front of the most powerful alpha in the galaxy, all his work is being unravelled._

_“Leave us,” Kylo announces loudly to the two Knights Of Ren that linger in the shadows, slipping into his alpha voice so he cannot be disobeyed or ignored. His tone of voice is so sharp and commanding that Hux feels himself shiver, aroused and desperate._

_“Please,” he whispers under his breath, uncertain of what he’s begging for. For this **not** to be happening? For Ren to ignore every instinct and urge that he has and take pity on the omega in heat instead of leaping on him and forcing him onto his knot? Or for someone to merely stop the pain? All of them sound like miracles right now, unachievable things that Hux will remember hoping for when he’s chained and kept as a broodmare at Supreme Leader Ren’s feet. _

_Having already resigned himself to a fate worse than death, Hux automatically bows his head before Ren as the alpha approaches him, lacking the fight to battle against his instincts that scream at him to submit. His arousal surges almost overwhelmingly as Ren’s scent becomes stronger, filling Hux’s senses until he’s wishing it was all over him._

_Ren is beside him now, kneeling, talking, but all Hux can hear is the pounding of his own terrified heartbeat in his ears._

_There’s contact, Ren’s hand on his tense shoulder. Brief, but enough to make Hux shiver. He manages to bring his head up, surprised when he doesn’t feel his clothes being ripped from him or an onslaught of pain from being unwillingly knotted. Instead, he sees Ren’s long, black cloak draped across him, blanketing him like a shield. It’s still warm from Ren’s wear of it and it smells like him. Stars, Hux closes his eyes as he inhales, it smells so much like Ren. Like soft lavender and sandalwood, Ren’s scent smells like home; the scent of Hux’s favourite calming bath salts, of his mother’s favourite flower, and then of the alpha’s raw, earthy scent. Intoxicating._

“ _Tell me what you need,”_ _Ren says, bringing Hux’s attention back to him. The alpha is holding his hands up in a manner of surrender, even creating space between them to reassure Hux of his intentions. Hux has never seen such depth and softness in those eyes before. “ _Breathe, Hux. I can sense your fear. You don’t need to be afraid anymore. I made a promise to myself after Crait to never harm you again. You and I, we’re more similar than I first thought. I need you, Hux. The First Order needs you, tell me what I need to do.”__

_Hux’s mouth falls open and closed several times before he makes a sound, and even that is an incoherent noise that doesn’t properly convey his confusion._

_Ren speaks softly, “Look at me, Hux. I won’t hurt you, not anymore.”_

_Hux almost whines at the thought. Whether or not Ren means it is yet to be proved but for now, in this state, Hux has to take it. The least he can do is use Ren to escort him back to his chambers; the alpha’s strong presence will, no doubt, ward off any leering alpha-officers who smell his sweet in-heat scent and fancy a piece of him._

_“I want to go home,” Hux says, grabbing onto Ren’s cloak, pulling it as tight around himself as it’ll go. “I want to go to my chambers.”_

_“Alright. Can you walk?”_

_“No.”_

_“Should I carry you?”_

_“Uh. Yes, al-alright.”_

_With more grace and care than he ever thought Ren possessed, Hux is lifted from his kneeling position and into the alpha’s strong arms, bridal style, where he settles in like **this** is his home. He feels completely weightless, his pain subsiding into manageable aches as he feels himself melting into the alpha’s chest. Closing his eyes, Hux tries to disappear inside of his own mind, forcing himself to think calming thoughts and ignore the passing footsteps of officers and stormtroopers. Hell knows the rumours that will spark as a result of this, of his men and women seeing him draped in Ren’s arms like this. The alpha may as well have thrown him across his shoulder like a hunted animal. _

_“I’ve wiped their thoughts,” Ren whispers. “They won’t remember seeing you like this.”_

_“Hmph,” is all Hux can say in return, still too embarrassed to open his eyes. Why is Ren doing this? They despise each other, don’t they? Wouldn’t Ren **want** Hux to be ravaged by a pack of horny alphas so he can take absolute control of the First Order and reign without Hux’s interference? _

_“Like I said,” Ren says, using the Force to unlock the sliding door to Hux’s chambers to allow them both in. “We’re not so different, you and I. I’ve come to realise that.”_

_“Stay out of my h-head,” Hux groans, wriggling out of Ren’s grasp to stand on the floor, knees trembling. He even shrugs Ren’s cape off and lets it fall to the floor in an unwanted pile. Letting go of Ren feels…wrong. “If that’s all, Supreme Leader. I’ll be taking medical leave for at least a week.”_

_“Make it two,” Ren replies. “I need you at full health.”_

_“Stop saying that. ‘I need you’. You’ve made it explicitly clear that you don’t need me.” Hux turns his back on the alpha then, a brave move in itself for an omega in heat. Shedding himself of his greatcoat and shirt to leave himself in just his sleeveless undershirt, Hux puts his scarred shoulders on show for the perpetrator to see. “By your hand, Supreme Leader. Now, leave me to rest.”_

_But Ren doesn’t. He lingers awkwardly in the doorway, tensing his fingers in and out of his palms. Hux hears him shift as he’s walking to his bedchambers but Ren’s steps are getting closer, not exiting like he wants_

_“I’m sorry,” Ren says. Hux doesn’t turn around. “I was angry, confused. I shouldn’t have lashed out.”_

_“But you did.”_

_“I know.”_

_Hux wants to walk away, to slam the door in Ren’s face but he can’t. He’s drawn to him; undeniably and annoyingly. There’s a burning question in his mind that’s begging to be answered. “What did you mean by ‘we’re not so different’?”_

_When Hux finally turns around, Ren is looking at the floor. The alpha keeps his voice low, “You’re lonely, like I am.”_

_“I’ve been lonely since I can remember. So?”_

_“And you’ve been the constant in my life since I left Ben Solo behind.”_

_“And you think that means that I’m going to accept your apology straight away?”_

_“No, but—”_

_“Then **what** is this?” Hux hadn’t meant to shout but the pain of his heat is getting worse, frustrating him to the point where his temper snaps. “You hate me! You’ve hated me since we first met! And you’ve hurt me! I don’t want your pity just because you’re now privy to the fact that I’m an omega. Oh. Is that it, Ren, hm? Your pitiful alpha instincts are telling you to be nice to me. Do you want to get inside my trousers? ”_

_“No!”_

_“Then, tell me—!”_

_The kiss is so unexpected that Hux’s entire body freezes on the spot at the very moment that Ren’s lips crash onto his. It’s overwhelming. It sends Hux’s mind into overdrive, making him see fireworks behind his eyelids, and makes the scent glands on his neck tingle with anticipation. The alpha’s hand moves to hold his hip whilst Hux brushes his fingers through Ren’s long hair, driving the kiss away from_ _passionate_ _and more towards_ _desperate,_ _but Kylo’s lips are_ _perfection._ _It_ _’s intoxicating, like Ren is a drug that’s dragging Hux’s senses into a thick fog with no hope of escape. Or maybe Hux is happy to get lost. All he can think about is how he wants these lips to kiss every part of his body, to leave marks on him, marks that tell everyone that he’s mated. It’s the closest he’s ever been to Ren’s scent glands too, getting a strong earthy smell from him, accompanied with the sweet smelling scent of his own heat, intoxicating. Hux can hardly concentrate on kissing back; a patch of skin on his neck tingles with pins-and-needles-esque pain, a pain that he believes would be similar to a claim mark stinging in the presence of its maker._

_Ren breaks the kiss first though Hux jolts forward with him, too deep in the kiss to react to the movement, wanting to follow the alpha’s heavenly lips for more. Hux opens his eyes slowly, lifting his gaze to meet Ren’s eyes and is stirred by what he sees in them. Ren’s eyes are sparkling, free of tears and fear._

_“Ren…”_

_“You anchored me,” Ren says, panting, licking his lips as though to savour Hux’s taste. “ **That’s enough** , you said. And it was. I thought I was alone, I tried to find what I was looking for in Rey but she isn’t what I need. You are, and you’ve been here all along. I thought putting you beneath me was what needed to be done but it wasn’t. You’re like me, Hux.”_

_“So it would seem,” Hux gazes down, hiding his smile._

_“Snoke,” Ren spits out the name. “He made us fight.”_

_“I know. Competing against each other for his approval like sad, little pups. We should have known better.”_

_Ren nods, still holding Hux by his hips, “He knew what we’d become if we joined instead of argued. Shit, Hux. I thought you were an alpha.”_

_“Well,” Hux bites his lip. “I was, for a long time. I had to hide myself.”_

_“Why?”_

_“Come now, Ren. You’ve heard the way that omegas get treated by Imperials. They’re made into slaves with no autonomy. I was forced to hide.”_

_“Not anymore,” Ren shakes his head, eyes sparkling with conviction._

_“What do you mean? Ren!” Before Hux can argue, Ren sweeps him up into his arms again and finally takes him into his bedchamber, holding him close despite Hux feeling scandalous by the action._

_“No more hiding, no more secrets,” Ren says, setting Hux down gently on the bed, continuing downwards until he’s kneeling at the foot of the bed, kneeling before Hux. “My Grand Marshal will be the strongest omega in the history of the galaxy.”_

_Hux’s jaw drops. Grand—? Oh. The new title makes Hux’s loins burn with excitement, more so than they’re already doing with his heat._

_“Grand Marshal? Ren, you’re—”_

_“Serious, yes. I need you with me, Hux.”_

_Hux can’t stop his smile from beaming, feeling the most joyous he’s ever felt—other than when Starkiller fired. Elation doesn’t describe it; he feels like he could fly. The promotion means he’ll be above High Command, Ren’s right-hand man and no longer his complete subordinate. Ren’s advisor, his confidant, his mate—_

_Hux stops himself. Looking down to where Ren kneels before him, Hux has never felt such attraction before. The thoughts of their future that he once had now seem real again, a reality where he and the alpha are friends—lovers, it seems—and fight for a common cause instead of squabbling for the attention of an old creature who only held them back. Ren seems to be glowing, luminous to Hux’s gaze. The alpha looks different than he did before Crait, Hux hadn’t noticed before; he doesn’t seem to be looking at Hux with the intense hatred that he once did. Instead, his brown eyes shimmer._

_“And I need you with me, Kylo,” Hux saying, liking how Ren’s name sounds on his tongue. He offers the alpha his hand and, after hesitating for a moment, Ren takes it and allows himself to be pulled up and onto the bed._

_“Hux?”_

_“Take me,” Hux says, lying back, knowing that his cheeks are flushing with the growing intensity of his heat. “I want you to mate with me, Ren. My…my alpha.”_

_Hux’s last two words ignites something between them, he can feel it the moment that he utters them, and he sees it in Ren’s eyes. The formal start of a courting between an omega and an alpha._

_The undressing and foreplay is a blur. It’s the most sensual, loving sex that Hux has ever had, though he’s had very little experience anyway. Ren is soft with him, kissing him constantly as though they’ve been lovers for years instead of new ones. Hux climaxes twice before Ren even puts his cock in him, trembling with need for his knot ones Ren begins to scent him._

_Not once does Hux feel unsafe. Every touch is heaven, and he can tell from Ren’s enthusiastic moans and cries that he, too, is enjoying himself. The stars seem to align as he lies there with Ren, tied by his knot, both unwilling to break eye contact with the other. It’s overwhelming, Hux thinks, to find something like this with someone he thought he hated._

_He’s turning his head, presenting the left side of his pale neck to the alpha before he’s even verbalised his want to be claimed. Ren’s bite bonds them, and time stops._

The bright light fades back into the soft glow of the Lisunne dawn, new-born sunshine finding its way through the small gap in the royal couple’s bedchamber curtains, draping a warm light across the resting mates.

Kylo’s knot has softened enough for Hux to pull himself free of the tie, shuffling onto his back to face his tired alpha. Despite still being in his rut, the alpha’s hunger has satiated and settled for now, the sparkling brown back in the irises of his eyes instead of full-blown black.

“Did I hurt you?” Kylo asks, nuzzling the omega’s hair, mindful of his circlet.

“I should be asking _you_ that same question.” Hux looks down to where bruising sits around Kylo’s torso. He knows that his strong alpha has coped with more painful injuries but Komine was a cunning opponent. The bruising will take weeks to heal. “But no, you didn’t hurt me. You could never.”

“I did. I _have._ ”

“The past is forgiven, Ren.”

“That memory,” Kylo continues, looking to the claim mark on Hux’s neck. “It was the strongest one I’ve had return to me.”

“I’m certain more will return. We’ve had a lot of sex.”

“It’s not the sex,” Kylo shakes his head, and Hux rolls his eyes at his mate’s missing of his attempt at humour. “That first time, when I claimed you. I fell in love with you. I felt it, I felt like _him,_ like it was me.”

“It _was_ you, Ren.”

“You know what I mean. All this time, with my memory being half-empty, I’ve felt like another person looking in on someone else’s life. But I…I’m starting to feel like Kylo Ren again. _Your_ Kylo Ren.”

“Oh, my love,” Hux takes his alpha into his arms and hugs him. “I’m so glad. But remember, even if you don’t recall much else now, you must let the bad things go. The future is what’s important now.”

Hux is already rubbing the soft bump of his belly when Kylo’s hand joins him, tracing invisible lines up and down, both imagining their sleeping child beneath the skin.

“I can feel it,” Kylo mutters, rubbing his fingertip over the bump. “It’s trying to reach out.”

“ _It?_ You were once so convinced that it was a girl,” Hux comments, recalling his mate’s adamant stance on the sex of their baby. “A _warrior princess_ you said.”

“I remember. That’s the memory that came back to me the night that I…abandoned you.” Kylo’s smile fades but Hux’s hand on his cheek brings it back.

“I shouldn’t have kept the baby a secret from you, Ren. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t. I shouldn’t have reacted like that. And _Komine—”_

“That vile man got what he deserved. He’s dead. There’s no need to even _think_ of him now.”

“Agreed.”

A quick kiss on the cheek and Hux is smiling again, their hands still atop each other on the omega’s belly.

“So, a boy?” Kylo snuggles in as close as he can to Hux, and pure love and contentment radiates through their strong, thriving bond.

“We’ll have to wait for the scan but yes,” Hux agrees, imagining the nursery painted a light blue with a white crib, a perfect little bundle nestled inside. He can’t _wait._ “A boy.”

Their future is bright.

For now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A BOY! No spoilers, of course, but I'll tell you right now, I'm not bluffing when I say that things are fine _for now_. (✿◠‿◠)
> 
> Kylo and Hux have already been through so much but their baby still isn't here yet and...well. I'll say no more! (There's no miscarriage or character death, don't worry!)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> My tumblr is [@solohux](http://solohux.tumblr.com/) ❤️
> 
> And I'm also on twitter now! Find me [@solohuxx](https://mobile.twitter.com/solohuxx) 💙


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